#and then I looked down and also realized that the work I was doing I would NEVER have been able to do in my early twenties

[gojoacedia]

Vi has severe attachment issues, meaning it took you a long time to break the walls surrounding her heart down to get to the point you are at with her now. And boy was it obvious how attached she was.

-She would get nervous if you left for even a few seconds. She would always go grocery shopping with you, workout with you (even though your workouts were half of what she did), sit on the counter while you did your makeup, and even sit on the floor of the bathroom if you were taking too long in the shower.

-If you managed to escape her arms in the middle of the night she would panic in her sleep and grab you back as fast as possible. You couldn’t be an inch away from her.

-She looks at you like you’re insane if you do anything nice for her. She could be standing behind you and kissing your neck the whole time you were cooking and still not realize you were making food for her. When you do serve her a plate she tells you to eat it. “You need to eat too! I can’t eat this if you don’t have anything!” She would complain. “Vi, honey, I have my own plate. I made enough for two.” You would reply, rolling your eyes at how she never considered you making two portions.

-Every day when you come home from work or school she greets you at the door like a dog who hasn’t seen their human for weeks. She would bury her face in your neck, smelling your hair like it was a drug. You would drop all of your bags (some of which had gifts for her) and hug her back. “What’s up with you today? I was gone for 30 more minutes and you're acting like it’s been years,” you laughed, grabbing her face in your hands and giving her a long kiss. She would just roll her eyes and tell you to shut up, never wanting to admit how much you affect her.

-When you have sex she will always force you to make eye contact. She didn’t want you thinking about anything other than the way she made you feel. If you ever threw your head back in pleasure she would immediately stop and grab your chin, forcing you to look back down at her. “Eyes on me, princess, or you don’t get to cum,” she would say. She couldn’t help herself from getting exponentially more wet when you whimpered in protest, following her orders anyway.

-After you came (and after she came if she was in the mood) she would carry you to the shower, giving you butterflies every time she picked you up like you weighed nothing. She would make you pee before you went in the shower so you didn’t get a yeast infection, knowing your body better than your other partners ever did.

-She had absolutely no shame when it came to the nastiest aspects of your life. She could never see you as anything other than a goddess. Even if you were sick and snotting your brains out into an entire box of tissues. Even if you were on your period, disgusted at whatever left your body that week. You could have pink eye and she would gently wash away all the eye crusts with a warm washcloth. Nothing could phase her when it came to you.

-You eventually needed to have a serious talk with her about how she treated you. She would burn the whole world down for you and then get mad if you traveled to her favorite restaurant in the underground to get take-out slugs. You needed her to know you were also allowed to be attached.

-Going off of that, if you ever needed to have a conversation about boundaries you had a rule that you had to say 5 nice things about her for every complaint. You knew she didn’t take criticism well due to her past, so you made her feel like royalty before trying to have any serious conversation with her. She noticed this, of course, and it only made her love you more. Her impatience mixed with your patience was a match made in heaven.

[pepperyduck]

pins & needles

summary: how various jjk men react to ur new/unnoticed piercings! incl. nanami, gojo, geto, choso

warnings: veryyyyyyy suggestive (esp in nanami's), (new) piercings, geto's & nanami's is a new relationship type thing. excuse any typos pls😞. 18+ mdni!

a/n: i got like 3 new piercings over the weekend, this is just self indulgent and cute methinks. also tyyy for 700 :3, i'm trying so hard to get over the writer's block. love u all!

choso + smiley piercing!

"i've never been happier to see you," choso groans as soon as he enters your dorm, kicking off his shoes at the door. though his voice is monotone, you can infer he's tired, worn out from a day's work and fighting curses.

"rough day?" you scoot over in bed to allow room for your boyfriend, smoothing out the sheets and flipping your blanket up.

"very." the singular word is the only response choso gives before beginning to strip his uniform right in front of you. as you're watching intently, choso gets almost completely naked before grabbing some clothes he'd left over; a pair of baggy pants and an "i heart my girlfriend" shirt that you gifted him, and lazily putting them on.

"i did something today, cho," you inform him, and choso’s attention immediately snaps to you, eyes showing that he was obviously wondering.

"what’d you do?"

you give him a bright smile, all the teeth in your mouth shown to him, the shiny ring glistening atop your pretty gums. choso’s brows furrow together, his pupils coming to realize there was something new in your mouth, something different about your smile.

"what’s…that?" he asks, stepping closer and closer and eventually sitting on the bed with you. you giggle at his curious looking, his eyebrows still knitted together in an inquisitive way.

"a piercing, silly," you inform him, carefully flipping up your top lip to show where the jewelry went through the frenulum of your inner lip.

"does it hurt?" choso leans in even more, straightening his eyes with the freshly pierced hole in your mouth.

"not really, just a little bit," you tell him, letting go of your lip and pressing a quick peck to choso’s lips. it catches him off-guard, choso’s face lights up red because he thought he couldn’t kiss you. smiling triumphantly, you pull away from your boyfriend.

"it—um—it looks really pretty on you." choso compliments, "can i kiss you again? please?" and he’s so sincere and sweet, always asking permission for everything. so endearing, really, even with his deep, dark voice.

needless to say, when he kisses you again, choso is making sure to flick the jewelry all around with his tongue, faintly enough to not hurt the new wound. and it becomes a habit from thereon.

gojo + bellybutton piercing!

"i missed you so much, baby."

satoru is on top of you, arms caging you in while you lay underneath him, smiling and feebly grasping the biggest part of his bicep. it had been over a month since you'd seen your husband, he'd been away on a business trip for far too long.

"did you miss me?" his words are drawn out and dramatic, like always, like he was teasing you—but he was practically always teasing you.

"yes, satoru," you blankly reply, "i missed you."

just before you can roll your eyes, gojo's kissing you, a bit enthusiastically, but you quickly melt into his touch. as annoying as he could be, you loved him, you missed him. you had longed for him the moment he left—that was a fact you couldn’t deny.

as quickly as he meets your lips, satoru leaves, disconnecting himself to trail down your torso that was draped in a way-too-expensive t-shirt of his. but the one thing that doesn't leave you is his eyes, he keeps an intense stare on your face as he moves lower and lower towards your waistline. his fingertips dance along your sides before pinching the fabric of the bottom of the shirt and slowly lifting it up.

his eyes are no longer able to stay on yours when he catches a glimpse of the sparkly blue rhinestones on each ball of the jewelry stuck through your navel. of course, you chose the shade that best matched satoru's eye color.

"no way!" satoru exclaims, beaming with a new-found excitement for the little hole in your tummy, "you actually did it?"

"yes, satoru," you repeat, threading your fingers through the white tufts of your husband's hair.

gojo's nimble fingers come to play with the jewelry—the size comparison comedic from how large his hands are. he studies the now fully healed wound, moving the jewelry all around and practically forgetting the previous heated mood.

"do you like it?" you somewhat nervously ask, intimidated by the tedious investigation of your bellybutton.

"yes, duh," satoru dramatically quips, "you think i should get one next?"

nanami + nipple piercing!

kento had tried so hard to ignore it.

you didn't mean to distract him, really. it was a simple mishap at first, not wearing a bra when kento came over. but after the first time, he didn't seem to mind, he was gentlemanly enough. his eyes stayed averted—when you were looking at him, at least—so you took it as a green flag to remain braless when he was at your house without worry.

but nanami's only a man.

so here you are, after work, after your boyfriend had come over, ranting to him in your kitchen about your boss and whatever bullshit you had to put up with that day. but your words land upon deaf ears, noise drowned out by the sight of the little hearts poking out from the shirt you're wearing. he's sat at your dining table, legs lazily spread as he half-listens to you.

"—like, what?! what else am i supposed to do in that situation?"

for the first time in your venting session, you lock eyes with kento, noticing how they flash up quickly from...your chest.

"ken?"

"um—yes?" he chokes, a little too obviously for him to not be embarrassed over.

a smug smile rests over your face, nanami was caught red handed, ogling at your boobs and the cute heart-shaped jewelry that adorned them.

"what'cha staring at?" trailing closer to him with a teasing tone in your voice, you're killing him, embarrassing the poor man as the seconds roll on. kento doesn't reply either, only a raspy breath leaving his lungs as his response. his face heats up and his expression drops, shamelessly glancing down at your chest once more—one, two—counting the peaks of your nipples through the shirt.

"i'm sorry," he finally chokes out, unable to keep his eyes from flashing up and down, to your eyes then to your chest, again and again.

without any words, you slot yourself between nanami's legs, inching your chest closer to his face. it was so funny how easily his stoic persona disintegrated under your presence. he'd never been this close to your chest—to you. and it's intoxicating to him, he's ashamed how he loses himself by simply being eye level with your boobs.

but that guilt quickly washes away when you take his hand and place it perfectly to cup your tit—index finger and thumb resting right around the pretty jewelry under your shirt.

tdlr; that's the first night your boyfriend stays over at your place.

geto + clavicle piercing!

"you look lovely tonight."

smooth as ever, geto compliments you, his voice dripping with a sweet nectar. your insides warm up despite the harsh cold outside, the thick coat draped over your frame doing little to combat the weather.

"thank you," you whisper and smile at him, stepping into the door of the fancy restaurant suguru had chosen for your date. third date, to be exact.

once you're at your table, suguru helps you shimmy the bulky jacket off your shoulders, revealing the tasteful, deep-cut top you had chosen for your date—along with the two studs on each side of your collarbone that your clothing showed off rather perfectly.

it takes suguru a few moments to notice once he sits down. he tries to strike up conversation, relying on the simple questions and responses he can utter without getting too distracted. however, within a few minutes, geto is cracking, eyes every so often flickering down to the gems that aligned your clavicle so prettily. he can't help it, because with every slight movement you make, the jewelry sparkles in the dim light of the restaurant—it's hard to ignore.

"are you okay?" you interrupt your previous dialogue when you take note of geto's increasingly hazy replies, and how he seems a bit spaced out.

"yeah," suguru swallows deeply, "i really like your—um," his pointer finger vaguely motions to his own collarbone, and you have to look down at your chest before you realize what he’s talking about.

his mouth is dry. he’d already thought you were, like, the sexiest woman on earth, but this, oh this, was just too much. geto was unsure as to why he found the piercings so distracting, so hot, but nonetheless enjoyed the view he had.

"oh, thank you!" you giggle, smiling brightly and ghosting your fingers over the piercings—you’d honestly forgotten that this would be the first time he’s seen this much of your body, and the piercings ended up being the perfect touch to make suguru lose his mind.

and he can't wait until he's able to feel on 'em, too.

[innerfare]

A Lucky Injury - Law

Summary: Your Captain, whom you've been crushing on since you joined the Heart Pirates, was injured in a fight, and his wound is in a place he just can't reach, forcing him to ask you for help bandaging it. Features pining (reader is down bad).

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x Gn!Reader

Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff

CW: SFW // Slight Mention of Blood and Injury (no real gory details though)

Word Count: 643

———

It was a lucky injury. You were a bad person for thinking it, a horrible person for gleaning any amount of pleasure from your Captain’s pain, but it was a lucky injury. Somewhere between mild and moderate on the scale, closer to moderate though Law claimed it was mild, the gash on his shoulder blade was just out of reach. For him, at least. The gash was well within your reach. It was also serious enough to warrant medical attention, but not so serious that you had to worry about his future health. 

It was a lucky injury. 

“Take off your shirt,” you ordered him, doing your utmost to act normal as he sighed and went to pull his hoodie off. To your sick pleasure, he flinched a little when he did, allowing you to step in and pull it the rest of the way off. You caught the lingering scent of his soap and that special laundry detergent he used for his sensitive skin mixed with his sweat, and you had to stop yourself from pulling the garment to your face and inhaling like some sort of lunatic. 

“Y/n-ah, I can do it myself.” His voice sounded lower than usual, similar to when he was tired or battling a cold he insisted he didn’t have. It was gravelly, like it might give out at any moment. 

“Just like you could fight those guys yourself?” You set the hoodie beside him on the exam table and assessed his wound, drying some of the blood from his tanned skin. You took extra care not to look at his bare chest, knowing full well those heart tattoos and lithe muscles would make it too difficult to concentrate on your work. 

“I did fight them myself,” he said. “And I beat them myself, too, so don’t-” He hissed as you dabbed his wound with antiseptic. 

“Yeah, you’re a real tough guy.” 

“I’m a Warlord,” he reminded you. 

“And the most terrifying one, to boot.” You continued cleaning his wound, a little bit too aware of the way his jaw clenched as you worked. Oh, and the sinewy line of his shoulder. You knew your captain was a nerd, but he certainly didn’t have the body of a guy who spent much of his time hunched over a desk. 

It was a lucky injury. 

“Why are you taking so long?” He asked. “It’s clean by now, just bandage me up.” 

“Doctors make the worst patients,” you tutted, giving his wound one more pass with the antiseptic. It was for his own good, not because you wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to touch him. 

“If you’re dragging this out to punish me for going in by myself-” 

“I would never prolong your suffering,” you interrupted, reaching for a bandage. “That would be unethical.” 

“Yeah,” he muttered, “a pirate would never do something unethical.” 

“Is the Warlord going to lecture me now on ethics?” 

“Maybe.” He cleared his throat, and you realized there was a slight pink flush to his cheeks, though you had no idea why. You could only imagine he was embarrassed to be caught in a position where he needed help. 

You considered messing up the bandage so you had to redo it, now not even so enamored by his naked upper half as you were enjoying the way he squirmed, for once not in a position of power, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Of course, you regretted it as soon as he grabbed his dirty hoodie and tugged it back on. 

“I’ll need to change that in a few hours,” you told him as he stood up. “Come find me after dinner.” 

“Thanks,” was all he said before slipping out, leaving you with the fresh memory of his shirtless form and warm skin. 

It was a lucky injury. 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[jellochihuahua]

I think some right-wingers love Fight Club (the movie) because it appeals to a certain strain of "return to monke" anti-modernism that appeals to the kind of guy who reads Ted Kaczynski's manifesto and thinks "hey actually this guy was right". You just have to accept, on principle, that Tyler Durden was right about everything and is the good guy. If you start with that, then what you can get is a very gender-essentialist take on masculinity and a very neo-luddite take on what life is best for humans. As an note, this is my guess at how you look at the movie through this viewpoint. I do not espouse these beliefs, and I also haven't seen this movie in a long time so I might get some details wrong.

The Narrator (Ed Norton) starts the film unhappy because of modern society. When he rejects societal rules and embraces who he really is (a violent, physically imposing, and dangerous man) he is fulfilled. That is because real men are naturally violent and can only be happy by fulfilling their need for violence through actual violence.

Marla in the beginning is suicidal. She stops being suicidal when she begins a sexual relationship with Tyler. That's because women naturally want to be subservient to men, and can only be happy when they are serving the needs strong man.

Modern society is what is preventing men from being "real" men (violent and strong fighters) and women being "real" women (subservient sex objects). By tearing down modern society, Project Mayhem is allowing things to return to their natural state. This will allow people to be happy, because the "natural" state of things is the right one and will make people fulfilled.

Project Mayhem is full of angry men who want to be led by the angriest and strongest man. They are from all walks of life, but primarily the working class. This is because they have recognized that modern society is keeping them from being their true selves, and they can only be their true selves in a patriarchal, anti-modern society. That natural order can only be restored through violence.

In the end, Tyler Durden is successful in basically everything he set out to do. This is because he was right, and is an example of what men should aspire to. Also, it is clear that Tyler is the good guy because he is beautiful, and beautiful people are always the good guys.

If you go into the movie with a mindset that is already gender-essentialist, patriarchal and anti-modern it's easy to see the things you want to see and none of the other things that you don't want to see.

The thing is, everyone knows something is wrong with how things are. Conservatives can also feel that they're being pushed around by forces that don't have their best interests in mind. They are also bothered by the commodification of human life, and sterility and lack of human connection we see in a world that's controlled by corporate interests. They just think that'll all be fixed by forcing people back into roles that they've already rejected time and again. They think we can go back to a way of life "when things were good' not realizing that things were never really good, and that people's innate desire for agency will not actuall fit with shitty, worn-out structures of power.

i dont think fight club was co-opted by the right because they didnt get the satire, it was co-opted because it fuckign kicks ass. they would have co-opted any movie that is that good and has hot sweaty men in it. right wingers aren't aliens, they know a good movie when they see it, the lesson isn't "don't make satire because the wrong people might think its for them" the lesson would be "don't make art that kicks ass" and i'd rather there be art that kicks ass

[cxffecoupx]

asking to place lipstick marks on 'it'

seventeen x reader 18+, nsfw, svt down bad warnings: suggestive content, love making wc: 1.0k author's notes: such a CRAZYY thought to have, so i decided to do it :) but i cant believe it took me this long to finish writing this (read: uni is kicking my ass). anyways, wouldn't say i'm very satisfied with it, but i really hope you guys like it!! also, special thanks to @simpxxstan for giving me ideas for a few members

➼ choi seungcheol

very interested in the idea. would get so excited for this. would ask if he can select the shade of lipstick and runs to your dressing table when you agree. but most likely would end up buying a new set of lipsticks because the shade he wants 'is not there' (it's an excuse for him to buy you a new set). by the time you're able to finish your mission, you're over three rounds and he's a sweaty, moaning mess. neither of you sleep that night.

➼ yoon jeonghan

would become so smug when you suggest it?? like full on smirk on his face and just goes, "if you wanted me to fuck you, you could have just said that." but will eventually agree when he sees your boba eyes and gets excited seeing your excitement. will probably squirm and whimper because of the sensations at first, but the sex later on is crazy.

➼ hong jisoo

confused eyes. looks so adorable you end up smushing his face and kissing his lips in fondness. man is actually so clueless at first, but then ever more confused when he realizes what you meant. becomes beet red until you promise him it's just for fun and not necessary until he's okay with it, hearing which he quickly agrees cause if you're gonna have fun, why would he not indulge you? would become so adorably shy when he sees the result. makes you cum with just his fingers and mouth as thank you.

➼ moon junhui

mindblown by your idea. becomes so excited; it's like a child waiting for candy. so endeared by you that he ends up making you smooch all over his face. then he starts kissing all over your face. the lipstick marks meant for his dick end up on your faces, but neither of you could be happier than at this moment. slowly turns into a gentle love making session.

➼ kwon soonyoung

you ask him in a very usual way, but it's only after he accepts that you realize this is a great opportunity to tease him. asks if he can record it (because he's very amused by this idea) and searches for the perfect lighting and angle while you prepare. thinks he's so prepared for it, but starts shaking and pleading the moment you start kitty licking his tip. by the time you're finished, he's panting and wanting for more.

➼ jeon wonwoo

you ask him while he was gaming; he leaves the game so fast you wonder what went wrong. but then he goes and picks up a random shade of lipstick and pulls you in between his knees as he manspreads on his gaming chair. holds your hair as you work on him. hours later, the lipstick and your clothes lie forgotten by the bed.

➼ lee jihoon

wants this whole event to occur in his studio. literally agrees when you offer to come to the studio for it. he'd be acting so nonchalant but you can clearly hear his heart racing in his chest and his ears going red. also likely to voice record the whole thing with your consent to use as 'inspiration' later (will use it to get off during desperate times).

➼ lee seokmin

another one who'd get red. very shy. "woah where do you even get ideas like these?" as he goes wide-eyed and still manspreads on the couch to invite you in. goes weak in his knees when he sees you make eye contact with him as you look up from between his knees wearing a shade he considers sexy. you have to abort the mission because he ends up pushing your face few many times.

➼ kim mingyu

GIGGLY MESS. you don't understand what he's been giggling about ever since you proposed the idea, but you're currently down on your knees in front of his naked body and he just cant stop giggling??? when you ask him about it though, he says he's way too endeared by this whole task and wants you to kiss every inch of his body. so, an hour or so later, you're panting, straddling a happy mingyu who's entire body is covered with lipstick stains. time to make a new folder in your gallery.

➼ xu minghao

lowkey becomes concerned about you. he already suspected you were upto something when you approached him with a cheeky smile, but he never thought it'd be this... wild? almost instantly rejects until he sees you get down and look at him with such hopeful eyes that he cant resist. still finds it weird as you mark him, but gladly indulges you. takes photos of it (without you knowing,,, or so he thinks) because you are the artist, and he ends up liking the art a little too much.

➼ boo seungkwan

lowkey judges you first, before highkey agreeing to it. it's one of the "how dare you make stupid decisions and do them without me" moments. judgmental most of the time: "is that the shade you're choosing? it doesnt look good on my skin tone," "the lip shapes arent perfect, pucker them a little more," etc etc. after lots of advice and nagging, you finally finish the job. you get up with a satisfied smirk as you look at his pretty pink cock and his spent form.

➼ chwe vernon

deeply contemplates it. quickly nods when you say, "it's for the art" and asks for some time. leaves. comes back saying "okay, let's do it." when you ask him where he went, he goes "i had to be clean and ready." waits for you to prep for it, but almost cums then and there when he sees you naked, wearing only his favourite shade of lipstick. by the time you could finish the task, he's lost all his marbles and begs you to ride him. finishes with his cum painting your chest and stomach.

➼ lee chan

turns red as a tomato. one moment you suggest the idea, the next he has to physically pull his head outta the gutter because his thoughts escalated into something else. and no matter how hard he tries to deny that he was indeed having very mature thoughts, the blush creeping to his cheeks screams the truth. asks somewhere in between if he can mark your chest with his lipstick marks, and honestly? who are you to resist? by the end of the night, he's spent and at your mercy and you havent yet completed the task.

[black--sun]

He grins, and then he notices Shiro said doomed romantic subplot, and the expression wavers. Then he’s kind of impressed Shiro knows what a doomed romantic subplot is, and Ichigo’s not sure if he wants to finish that grin or not. He doesn’t actually know which direction to let his emotions go. Shiro is an unnerving person. Not that Ichigo is unnerved so much as his pulse is tripping a quicker beat. It’s the instant realization that he’s walking beside someone that might’ve been world changing in a different life or a different time or if his circumstances hadn’t been such shit. Shiro's already got a grip on the entire city. He didn’t even have a good start in life. He has so much potential. It’s kind of horrible that it was never fostered— or maybe they’re all better off. Ichigo’s not quite sure why all it took was that small phrase to give him such an epiphany. Maybe because he knows Shiro doesn’t have any interest in books, but Ichigo’s betting he could change his clothes and walk into a room of Ichigo’s colleagues and fake belonging there well enough to be believable. Like a chameleon. That's a very specific talent. Then again, Ichigo is so in love with the asshole, he’s probably playing it up in his head. “You’re kind of scary sometimes.” In a way that makes Ichigo itch to get his hands on him and follow him down that rabbit hole, because he’s obviously also not quite typical. He mirrors Shiro’s scoff though and backtracks. “I’ve seen you embarrassed so many times. I’ve seen you embarrassed twice in the last hour.”

That offer tugs his guts up into his throat and then heats them as they settle back into place. He’s never stopped wanting Shiro for a second. Not even back when he was trying to convince himself it was hate. “If it were that easy, I’d let you.” He gives Shiro a flat look at those words just because Shiro can be willfully oblivious when he doesn’t want to face something head on. But Ichigo is nothing if not blunt enough to cut through bullshit. “Shiro, he thinks you turned on him the last time he needed you. Do you really think he’s going to come ask for help? Do you think he would’ve anyway?” Getting Grimmjow to admit he needs anything from anyone is like pulling teeth. Actually, he thinks Grimmjow would rather lose teeth. But Shiro and Grimmjow were close once, so who even knows. “I don’t know if it’s even that personal. Do you have any idea how much of a song and dance I had to do to get him and Urahara hooked up? He still doesn’t know I had anything to do with it. If he did, he probably would’ve come after me.” Grimmjow, damn him, can still kick him around pretty good when he has it in mind. “But I’ll be sure to let him know you want to help. He can be your problem for a while.” 

He really does care about Grimmjow, but fucking hell is the guy high maintenance. Just thinking about it has Ichigo in a bad mood. But the last Ichigo heard, he was working for someone else on the side though, so this is probably old information.

Shiro’s tone leaves him feeling like he took a cheap shot. He probably did, but he also means it. He’s not always a great friend, but he doesn’t do it halfway. He sure as hell doesn’t leave them to die alone. 

Ichigo doesn’t comment, he just nods while his brain chews on that. Shiro has a lot of people’s dirty underwear in his pocket. 

Ichigo pulls into a parking space, scanning the street as he exits his car. It locks behind him as he walks toward Shiro and tries all over again to ignore that skin Shiro has on display. He’s never been here. Never even noticed this place, though he’s familiar enough with most of the city. He glances in through the window and thinks it looks exactly like the kind of place these clothes came from.

At first it was kind of difficult to imagine Ichigo sitting at a desk, writing into the early hours of the morning, hours he's usually out roaming the streets or working a very different kind of job. But the more they talk about it, the more easily the image comes to him. He never really saw Ichigo bent over his studies when they were together, but he knows that's because he was too much of a distraction. Without himself in the picture, it's a lot easier to imagine.

He scoffs, "I never do anything embarrassing." Very very not true. Ichigo makes himself so punchable sometimes. Shiro struggles not to roll his eyes, and plays along instead. "Oh, don't downplay that. It'll be the most interesting part of the whole story. Who doesn't love a doomed romantic subplot attached to the misunderstood character? Most of the criminal population probably doesn't read anyway."

Ichigo's not wrong, but damn that's kind of harsh. "Yeah but I'd say no to all of them real fuckin' fast to say yes to you instead." He'd drop everything and everyone for Ichigo. Obsessed, like Ichigo's going to write in his book. And he's glad for the confirmation that he's the hottest guy Ichigo knows, but he didn't really want to hear about whatever complicated thing is going on between Grimmjow and Ichigo. Except it shifts gears into something. Shiro blinks, then heaves an exasperated sigh. "I understand he's mad at me, but I'm literally so loaded I don't know what to do with it. All he has to do is say something. Hell he could'a just sent me his rent bill or something." What an asshole. He doubts Grimmjow wants handouts from him, "Or I could find work for him. Doesn't even have to be illegal shit. I have a lot of connections."

That scowl makes Shiro's hackles raise, but the words take most of the fight out of him. He's so twisted up about Ichigo. He sighs. "I do. I do wanna be friends." The problem is that he doesn't know how to be just friends with Ichigo. He's going to settle for it, because it's all he's going to get, but it's going to hurt.

He shrugs. "Not all of it. I move the important stuff. Politicians, celebrities. People who think they're being discrete. Only reason I never moved my own product before was because I didn't trust myself around it often." He offers up a sort of self deprecating smile. "That's not an issue anymore. But it's a lot of product, a lot of money and a lot of networking to trust to someone else, so it works out."

He watches Ichigo check his own vehicle from the driver seat, and starts rolling down the drive when he sees Ichigo climb into the car and start it. He takes them into the city, to a hole in the wall alt fashion shop that has too many items crammed into a too small of a space. It's his favorite place for clothes though.

[kryptznnn]

♛- Down It

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➸ INTERESTS; -normal au! ryomen sukuna x f!reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - another drabble, sukuna being your work boss within his firm and you his assistant. Giving you another reminder of what an assistants placement is, to serve and provide for whatever their boss needs, and today he was needy.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. roughly 1k, dirty talk, smut, oral sex (m!recieving), face-fucking, mentions of crying, mentions of troubled breathing, messy oral sex, mentions of drooling/access saliva, orgasm (m!engaging), messy ejaculation, kissing, etc.

➸a.i; - super freak super freak, also tysm for over 300 notes on the katsuki drabble and 100 on the toji one what u guys are insane i’ll keep feeding u i swear!!

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

“There you go- fuck, I bet your slut ass is already soaked by just suckin’ me off huh?” Sukuna grunted, one hand keeping a grip on the back of your head with a handful of your hair as the other gripped at his desk. His eyes shut tight for a minute, embracing the warm and wet feeling of your mouth around him.

Every time he would take in your appearance you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth. He couldn’t help it, you just looked so beautiful to him, his pretty little assistant underneath his desk on her knees as her hands were pressed against his thighs. Practically gripping onto him for dear life as you breathed heavily through your nose, your makeup running down your cheeks, especially your mascara.

He even cheered you on for a little while, thankful you hadn’t worn your waterproof mascara that day as it suited you much better to look like such a mess underneath him. With the way your saliva and tears mixed together below your chin he felt as if he was going to heaven, you looked gorgeous.

Ryomen Sukuna knows he’s a dirty man, filthy if anything. Filthy with his words and his actions, the way he runs his firm and let alone his personal assistant. As he had pointed out and highlighted on your resume, the purpose of an assistant was to help with any of their bosses needs, especially personal.

Right now was one of those moments, and honestly you couldn’t complain. You liked seeing his worn out expression and how beads of sweat dripped down his temple. You favorited how his Adam’s apple flexed and he bit his bottom lip when you would begin to hum around his tip as your hand made its way into his pants.

Oh if you weren’t continuously teasing him he would’ve came so long ago. He knew what you were doing, and you did too, you loved to tease him just as much as he had with you before. As of right now however he was tired of the teasing, he was so close and just wanted to cum.

“Keep hummin’ on me like that m’gonna- shit, m’close.” He moaned, immediately covering his mouth with his hand after realizing he did so. He didn’t like being vocal, or at least as vocal as you were, but times like this he couldn’t help it.

You did as you were told, slowing your pace as you did so before looking up at him with a sort of glossy eyed look. He bit his bottom lip softly, now placing both of his hands on the back of your head before telling you to breath through your nose.

You wore a confused expression on your face before it was ripped away from you, moaning loudly as he thrusted his entire cock into your mouth repeatedly. You were initially taken by surprise, now clawing into his thighs with all your night as his pace quickened. The head of his cock repeatedly punching at a small part at the tip of your throat.

If you hadn’t been practicing with him before you would’ve been gagging to the point of nearly vomiting, but thankfully that wasn’t the case. You kept up with his pace, now relaxing a bit as he continued to throat fuck you for only a few more seconds before reaching his high.

He grunted loudly, quickly pulling back and leaving your mouth with a ‘pop’ before painting your face. You knew better than deny him of what he wanted, and what you secretly loved, so you kept your mouth wide open, sticking your tongue out. His cum was quick to coat your face, and your exposed breast as your button up and bra were open and pulled down, most of it entering your mouth as he watched you swallow it with a big grin on your face.

He was quick to kiss you, passionately before making you stand up and sit on his desk. He was quick to unzip your work skirt and pull it aside, now poking and prodding at the large and sticky wet spot made at the center of your underwear with a smirk.

He was quick to hook his thumbs underneath both sides of your underwear, loving the sound and scent that came after removing them and stuffing it in his pocket. You were quick to call him a pervert because of it, but he promised he’d give it back after he was done with you.

He toyed and teased with you as you began to fuss, squirming around slightly. He only took his large firm hands to weigh your hips down as he kissed between your thighs, licking at the mess you’d left behind on them from your arousal before kissing your wet cunt.

“Now let’s take care of this needy lil’ thing here yea?”

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn

[chwefan]

made4me | vernon

ex-babydaddy!vernon x fem. reader | 7.6k words

i do NOT condone having a baby with a man you're not married to. i do not condone having unprotected sex. please do not be like them omg. this is also a reworked fic of mine so don't worry i am NOT stealing from anyone other than myself.

contains: vernon is the father of your child, you two broke up, unprotected sex, pining, yearning, mentions of a failed realtionship

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

you don’t know how you ended up in front of vernon’s place. even if you were the one behind the wheel, the one shifting the gears, and the one rolling through red stop signs and impatiently tapping your wheel at the lights, you don’t know how you ended up there. 

you looked out your driver side window to the house across the street. a long time ago, back when the wooden mailbox had your painted hand print on the side, you used to call this your home. now the place almost seemed unfamiliar. the car parked in the driveway was not yours and the mailbox was metal now. atleast you were in your right mind enough to not park directly in front. but you also knew this was just as bad. a car rolling to an ominous stop in a residential area like this would flag the attention of the over zealous neighborhood watch. looking across the street at a house in the dead of night would not work in your favor.

you knew you could’ve gone home. you could’ve let out a deep sigh to clear your head and recenter yourself. then once you realized how crazy you looked you could’ve put your car back in drive and come back in the morning when you were supposed to. you could’ve picked up your daughter the next day and pretended like none of this happened. but you knew yourself better than that, and you knew that reeling from your failed date you came to the old place that used to bring you comfort. 

you turned towards your phone, hoping that something would distract you. but when you opened your phone you saw your lockscreen—your happy little daughter trying to hold a pumpkin the size of her body as you and vernon helped. instead of taking your mind away from the situation you were pulled deeper into it. you remembered how happy you were that day, the vivid memories of talking pictures and experiencing a pumpkin patch with your daughter for the first time. like you were a happy little family again you sat next to vernon with your daughter between the two of you, stealing the occasional glances before pretending like you two were only hanging out for the sake of your daughter.

vernon even found it in himself to have a heart to heart with you. while your daughter went off to play with the other kids he initiated the conversation, talking about how introspective he’s been lately. you watched him with wide eyes as he talked about how you two were too young to have a child, and at an awkward stage in life starting your careers to have a baby in the mix. you nodded your head as he nervously shuffled and looked down at the crackling leaves underneath his feet. you saw his shoulders visibly loosen when you repeated the same sentiment, that you wouldn’t trade your daughter for the world but you often wondered what your lives would be like if you had her later in life. the question hung in the air, you could see vernon contemplate asking you what would’ve happened if you met him later in life. 

you didn’t want to answer his question. the pang in your heart and the urge to reach for his hand made you leave his side all together, running to your daughter on the playground to get away from him.

you still didn’t have the answer as you sat in the drivers seat of your car. all you knew was that you still could vividly see your daughter holding vernons finger tightly in one hand and holding a small pumpkin in the other. 

you knew that your date didn’t stand a chance once he got you started on your little family, and that he didn’t try to hide the knowing look on his face when he saw that your ex was still very much involved in your life. selling the idea that you two were simply co-parenting was alot harder to sell when the three of you occupied your homescreen and lockscreen. he noticed your wandering mind, it was obvious in the way he cleared his throat after you stared at the picture for a little too long. 

trying to comprehend your relationship with vernon was difficult. when you were with him you thought about all the shortcomings in your relationship—the lack of communication, hiding your feelings, keeping things bottled up until they exploded. neither of you were able to save your relationship before it was too late, and it could be argued that you two were better apart. but when you weren’t with him, the only thing you could think about was trying to make it work. you saw pieces of vernon in the man you were seeing, you imagined he was with you in that restaurant. maybe it was the familiarity, maybe you shouldn’t have made the mistake of seeing vernon before going on your date. because the only thing you could think about was him, if he was going on dates in secret and if he was thinking of you too. you thought about your daughter, how much you wished you were with her instead of pretending the fancy food on your plate was good.

you knew the moment you started thinking about your family that the date was already over. when you walked yourself to your car you added another endeavor to your long list of failures, all you could think about as you sat in your car was how you gave up a day you had with your daughter for this. you deleted your message history with the man, staring at your most recent text conversations. vernon sat at the very top, his unread message appearing in the form of a tiny blue dot next to his picture-less icon. determined to keep it casual, even if he was the first thing you would see when you closed out of that app as well. 

you clicked on the message thread, revealing a series of pictures of your daughter and little updates through the night.

vernon: she likes strawberries alot.

vernon: playing zelda and animal crossing on the big tv.

vernon: she’s better than me at zelda now.

vernon: she told me mommy is going on a date?

vernon: i hope it goes well.

vernon: she ate all of her food. gonna lay her down for bed soon

you don’t know why you felt guilty reading the last message. vernon didn’t have the right to know, and you knew that. you had simply told your daughter in passing that you were going on a date night with your friends, knowing that she would repeat whatever you told her to her father. you typed your reply over and over again, trying to figure out what approach to take. 

lol i was going out with some of my friends from wo\

that’s none of your busin\

the date went we\

are you awake?

your mind came up with a million things to say, but none of them felt right. it felt like all of them were attempts at sounding casual. you threw your phone into the passenger seat beside you, and you rolled your neck to try and relieve some of the tension. you let out a sigh and turned your keys in the ignition, letting your car come to life around you.

you pulled out from the parking lot and headed down the road trying to go home. you were positive you were trying to get home, you just took the wrong turn. 

then the wrong light.

then the wrong street.

your mind confused on where to go from the restaurant, you were sure of it. when you had the chance to go back the way you let the thought come and go, and you continued heading down the same road. you took another turn, you even waited at the red light with an unexplainable energy as you tapped the steering wheel. the tension in your neck was gone as you accepted where you were heading.

you knew you didn’t have the right to act confused when you finally turned down vernon’s road.

you let your head rest against the steering wheel when you parked across the street. each time the thought of leaving your car invaded your thoughts, you gently shook your head, feeling the worn leather of the steering wheel cover against the creases in your forehead.

“don’t do it.” you said to yourself.

you looked back at the house again, looking at the window to your daughter’s room. you knew that on the other side of the house you couldn’t see, was the window to the room you used to sleep in. you started thinking about vernon in that big bed by himself, drowning in the california king that was too large even for the two of you. you started thinking about if he thought of you before going to bed everyday, if he thought about you tonight and where you were going in your pretty dress. 

“don’t do it.” you repeated.

saying it a second time was unnecessary. you said it purely for effect, trying to seem like your better senses were trying to put up a fight. but you didn’t even finish your sentence by the time you were taking your keys from the ignition. 

you had already taken your first step out of the car when you repeated the phrase again. you cleared the road quickly, hearing your heels click on the paved road with each step. by the time you made it to the sidewalk you had accepted your fate. you were still weary, slowly making your way across the lawn to the stoop. 

when you made it to the small set of stairs you looked to the door in front of you. the last chance you had to go back in your car before you undid all of your hard work. you knew you were being recorded by the ring camera beside the door. you could simply lie if vernon ever brought it up. you could just say you considered coming to get your daughter before realizing how late it was. vernon most likely wouldn’t believe you, and you would most likely lie some more trying to tell a convincing story. but your gaze went from the ring camera to the potted plant that stood tall beside you. you looked even lower to the painted rocks that circled the bottom. you let the ring camera catch you crouch down to your heels. the same hand that drove you here picked out the discolored rock that felt hollow. 

you held the rock in your hand, feeling the three engraved letters side by side. you held it away from your shadow, letting the moon illuminate the letters. you laughed to yourself for a moment before bringing your other hand to it, feeling for the split in the middle. it was too easy to slide the fake rock open, and to grab the key to the front door out of it.

you stepped through the door, turning the knob so it closed quietly behind you. you took off your heels at the door, hanging your jacket on the coat rack. you felt like an intruder, walking through the house on the balls of your feet trying to be as stealthy as possible. you lurched past your daughters toys in the living room down the hallway to vernon’s room.

“don’t do it.” you said one more time putting your hand on the doorknob.

you pushed open the door to vernon’s room slowly. you cursed at the creaky hinges, only letting it fully open when you saw that vernon’s bed was empty. you looked around the dark room, eyebrows furrowed and confused. when you didn’t see the light from the bathroom you pulled away from the door. you turned around, looking at the pink door of your daughter’s room. you ran your hand over the paint, remembering the day you spent painting it together. she was insistent on putting BOYS NOT ALLOWED on the front until she realized that included her father. it was the same day you painted the rocks outside. memories flooding your mind made you gently push the door open, looking for that home you so desperately wanted, the home that didn’t change even though you left years ago.

when you silently opened the door, you saw your daughter take up a majority of the bed. her stretched limbs forced vernon’s body to balance on the edge. his arm was slung over the side, and he was so close to falling that his hand touched the ground. vernon was on his stomach and your daughter was on her back, both of their snores filled the room. even when the sounds were disturbing the stillness in the air you felt at peace. you felt that sense of belonging, and you felt the pang of missing something so dearly it nearly took your breath away. your own flesh and blood laid next to shared history that was so massive it had it’s own gravitational orbit. 

another revolution and your heart started speeding up. you could stay here for the rest of the night, leaned against the doorframe gushing over the sight in front of you. but vernon was pulling you towards him without even knowing it. you started feeling 

all of your steps towards vernon were careful, walking on the flat part of your foot to not cause the floorboards to creak. the good memories replaced the bad ones as you looked at how blissful they were asleep. you had your eyes trained on your sleeping daughter, making sure she didn’t open her eyes while you crouched close to vernon’s body.

another revolution. his eyelashes casted the tiniest shadow on his face, and he looked so serene in front of you. everything was so familiar, even the things you thought you would’ve forgotten came back to you. he pulled you in even closer. you reached your hand in the space between your chest and vernon’s shoulder with no hesitation. 

you were frozen when you felt your hand rest on his body. looking at vernon and his cheek pressed into the mattress and his mussed black hair. you hadn’t seen him like this in god knows how long. after you called things off, vernon put his stoic resolve back up. he put on a mask for you, a facade of furrowed eyebrows and emotionless stares. you had been deprived of vernon’s softness for so long you almost forgot it existed. now you crouched next to your ex beside the flower lamp on your daughters dresser resisting the urge to run a finger over his soft parted lips or his smooth skin. you almost didn’t want to wake vernon up, afraid that you would once again have the gentleness taken away from you. 

you didn’t know you could miss the view of someone you claimed to hate so much. 

something inside of you wanted vernon to know you saw him like this, unsullied in middle of the night just like when you were together. maybe he would even talk to you in that raspy voice he’d always get in the morning. maybe if you woke him up fast enough you would be able to experience the vernon you loved before his mind fully realized to make him robotic towards you again. so you applied force behind your hand, touching his shoulder completely before you let your hand fully cover the area.

you shook vernon gently at first. his body was limp underneath your hand, moving whichever way you applied force. you looked past vernon to your daughter, who had at some point moved to sleep like you. you drew in a breath, applying more pressure behind your hand trying to rouse him. 

finally he did something, letting out a sigh before shrugging your hand his shoulders.

“go back to sleep baby,” vernon swallowed and turned his head, facing away from you. “we can play zelda in the morning, i promise.” he mumbled.

even if his voice was barely audible, you still clenched your teeth in worry. your daughter was by no means a light sleeper, but all it could take is mentioning one of her favorite things to have her head shoot up in the middle of her sleep. vernon ignored you trying to wake him up again, and you had to lean in close to the back of his head.

“vernon,” you shook him a little harder “it’s me.” you whispered.

as if you yelled straight into his ear, vernon shot up from the bed. you were spooked, almost letting out a sound when he turned to you with wide eyes.

“what are you doing here?” he sounded lost as he looked around your daughters dark room. his eyes were wide as he tried taking in his surroundings. “is something wrong?” he asked.

“no i just.” you looked over vernon’s shoulder to look at your daughter. she was still snoring, but had turned to face her father. if she woke up now she would never go back to sleep. “i need to talk to you.” you whispered.

vernon blinked hard before looking at the flower-shaped clock hanging on the wall behind you. he squinted his eyes trying to make sure he was reading the time right. he rubbed them just to make sure he was really reading it right.

“at two in the morning?” he asked, voice still raspy.

in that moment you realized it was a mistake coming. nothing good as ever happened between you and vernon after midnight. but you also realized it was too late to go back, and a small voice in your brain already convinced you that you weren’t sleeping in your own bed tonight. so you nodded your head again as vernon carefully moved off the bed to not wake your daughter. 

vernon motioned for you to walk towards his room but he still led the way. he didn’t care to walk on his tiptoes or avoid the creaky parts of the floor as he rubbed his face. 

you looked back to your daughter once more before closing the door behind you. she moved to the center of the bed, taking up the little amount of space vernon was occupying. you slowly pulled the door closed until you heard it click behind you. when you turned back into the hallway you saw vernon past the opening in his door, looking at you through the space. he was no longer tired and he didn’t have his eyes squinted in confusion anymore. he held eye contact with you from his room, still as he watched your every movement. the living room was the neutral area between the two of you, the common meeting space. you didn’t know the last time you had seen vernon in his bedroom, or when you were extended the silent invitation to come in. 

the implications made your bare feet timid in the hallway, lingering behind each creak on the floorboards. you looked briefly down the hallway to the front door. the last bit of pride you had was on the other side. you knew vernon, if you left now he’d never mention this again. you coming to his house in the middle of the night would just be another story of something more you two ignored to avoid feelings. he walked towards you, and you took another step. his gravitational pull made you clear the hallway and the threshold of his room.

as if you had never been in the room before, you waited by the doorframe as vernon closed the door shut beside you. he gave you a second to collect your thoughts, leaning against the closed door as he looked down at you. you tried matching his calm, leaning against the wall until the light switch poked your back. when vernon crossed his arms you breathed in deeply.

“what are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

you didn’t have an answer. all you could do was cross your arms against your chest and avoid his gaze.

“i don’t know.” you answered just as quiet.

you could hear vernon let out a dry laugh from beside you. even in the darkness of his room you could make out the framed photo of you two that sat at his work desk. he followed your gaze and cleared his throat when he saw what you were looking at.

“did you enjoy your date?” vernon asked.

“that’s none of your business.” you quipped.

vernon pushed off of the door, and your eyes followed his back as he walked towards his bed.

“i’ll take that as a no.” he said quietly.

when he turned around to face you, you shrugged your shoulders.

“i’m seeing him again.” you lied.

the smug look on vernon’s face didn’t fade away as he crossed his arms to match you. you saw him lean against your former side the bed, head tilted as he caught onto your lie.

“oh i’m sure.” he said.

you felt the familiar rage blossom in your chest. suddenly you felt regret, reaching beside you for the doorknob.

“this was a mistake.” you seethe.

vernon is quick to move in front of you. you can’t even turn the doorknob completely before he clears the space, coming so close to you that you can smell him. he gets even closer and you’re forced to look up at him.

vernon moves his hand to clasp over yours on the doorknob. the warmth coaxes you to let go of the, and he brings his other hand to hold yours. you can already feel the heat across your cheeks, and you can see the blush dust across vernon’s face the longer he looks down at you.

you don’t know why he humors you even though you’re no longer together. you don’t know why you feel so shy like it’s the first time you two have ever been intimate. you don’t know why he takes his time teasing you, to let the tension build to the ceiling. you came to him in the middle of the night in a tight short dress after a failed date. he could’ve taken you in the hallway or bent over the couch in the living room. god knows you deserved it. but he was flirting with you, bringing his hand to brush underneath your chin to keep your head tilted up at him.

“you look so pretty tonight.” he said.

even though the words rolled off his tongue awkwardly from not being in this situation for so long, your mouth still goes dry. your hands reach across to grab onto the bottom of his white shirt. he smiles down at you and you hold the fabric a little tighter.

“you really don’t know why you’re here?” vernon asked again.

you silently shook your head, hoping he’d show you why. he looked at your lips before going back to your eyes. your hands went to his waist, desperate to hold onto something solid as he pressed his leg between yours. 

the movement made your dress ride up. you spread your legs even wider. the thought of him taking you right here flooded your mind. as if you didn’t know the person you used to claim as the love of your life you thought he was going to only give you relief in the form of his clothed thigh. as if he didn’t buy you this dress you thought he’d be careless with it, telling you to leave it on as you rutted your hips desperately on his leg. torturing you would’ve been better. removing emotions from this situation would’ve been better, if this just became a desperate fuck then you could just chalk it all up to being horny after a failed date. 

but vernon started caressing your face before he moved his hands gently behind you to pull down the zipper of your dress. he still remembered that he had to hold the fabric straight to get the zipper to work, and he pulled it down in one smooth motion. 

you got up from the wall to aid him, and you didn’t protest when the dress became loose on your skin. you only continued to look up at vernon, feeling your eyes become glassy as the fabric pooled to your feet.

“you still don’t know?” he asked quietly. 

vernon brought his fingers to run over the trim of your bra, letting out a sigh when you tilted your head back in approval. you didn’t have to answer vernon for him to know your response. he didn’t even have it in him to laugh. something was serious as he bent down to graze his lips on the ball of your shoulder. 

when vernon moved to your neck you brought your hands to his shoulder. you kept him there, letting your legs bend slightly to rest some of your weight on his leg. he was strong underneath you, the flexing muscle in his thigh made you want to grind against him. before you could move your hips, vernon worked his kisses up to your ear then completely pulled away.

“let’s go to the bed.” he said.

you complied immediately, making your way to your old side of the bed as vernon walked around to his. 

both of your stood next to the bed, staring at the other. you waited for his instruction, but vernon stared at you waiting for your next move. the authority made you swallow your nerves, and you reached behind you to undo the clasp on your bra. vernon watched you fully clothed on the other side, completely still as you moved to your underwear. vernon watched you push your underwear past your knees and lower, until you could step out of them. 

as you brought your arms to cross against your chest, vernon let you watch as he pulled his shirt over his head. you looked at his toned stomach, how he ran his hand down his body before getting to the waistband of his sweats. you moved from foot to foot, trying to not make it obvious how much of a mess you were already becoming. getting undressed slowly made it feel like the first time again, both of you trying to remember what your bodies looked like now. you no longer felt like the young adult you were when you first met him as vernon pulled down his sweats to reveal his white briefs. as he reached for the waistband he motioned to the bed, silently telling you to get on first.

you pressed your hands into the foam and crawled to vernon’s side. you sat back on your legs, perched and ready to listen. vernon grabbed your hand that was balled up at your sides, kissing your palm after spreading out your fingers. you wanted to press your hand into his toned stomach and travel down until you could squeeze him over the fabric of his underwear, but you let vernon kiss every single one of your knuckles as he kept burning eye contact with you. when he let your hand fall back to the bed he reached into the top drawer of the night stand. when your mind caught on you shifted on your knees.

“i’m not seeing anyone.” you said quickly.

“what about your date?” vernon asked.

you shook your head, hoping that vernon wouldn’t make you say it out loud. the smug smile that blossomed across his face was enough of a response. he moves towards the bed and you make space for him, scooting over until you’re in the middle of the bed.

“so no condom?” he asked.

vernon eyed you carefully as he put the foil packet back down on the bedside table. the option was staring at you both. he watched you shrug your shoulders and look away, focusing on fluffing his pillows. he sat back on his haunches the same time you went to lay on your side. 

vernon watched you in silence as you started getting comfortable. too much time has passed since he’s seen you like this, naked and getting ready for him. seeing the line of your body settle on his sheets makes vernon want to tell you how much he changed. how he’s not the same twenty-year old who broke your heart by hiding his feelings. he wants to tell you that he’s a responsible adult now, and that his therapist tells him every session he’s making real progress. 

when you settle onto the mattress you turn to face him. vernon notices how you fail to hold eye contact with him longer than a second before turning away. your hand that was rubbing up and down your body goes to fraying thread on the sheets, and your eyes dart away to focus on the wall behind vernon.

“hurry before i change my mind.” you were anything but convincing. your words had no bite as you patiently waited for vernon to fall into his place beside you. “you should be thanking me. god knows when’s the last time you had sex.” you said.

even if you tried to seem threatening, vernon saw your body seize in anticipation when he shifted on the bed. he took his time, going to his back first to fully take off his underwear. he enjoyed seeing you trying to take quick peaks over your shoulder to look at his bare body and hearing your nails scratch the sheets to try and collect yourself. 

vernon put his hand on the side of your knee when he shifted his body again. he ran his hands up slowly, his touch light as a feather to try and make goosebumps erupt across your skin. he scooted his body closer to yours, his arm that was between his body and the mattress fell into place underneath your neck. 

the two of you went into your old routine, muscle memory of your past together in bed guided your movements. you both told yourselves your bodies were acting on their own accord. that was the excuse echoing around in both of your heads as you scooted your body back to meet vernon’s and why he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder blade. you gasped from the feeling, and suddenly the familiarity between you two filled the room. the closeness of your bodies was nearly blinding, you put your hand over vernon’s that had found it’s place on your ass. 

vernon foolishly thought that this position would protect him, that not being able to see your face would help him have emotionless sex with you. but feeling your fingers seamlessly intertwine with his made his heart pound against your back. each time he tried to slightly pull back you only followed him, chasing after the warmth of him against you. 

he thought fast to distract you from his heart thudding in its cage before you could point it out. he reluctantly separated his hand from yours to lift your leg, making it come over his. the change made you lean forward to put your hand on the mattress to stabilize yourself. vernon leaned forward, and bringing his arm that was under your neck to hold your chest to bring you close.

“the last time i had sex?” when your leg was locked over vernon’s he made quick work of you. ignoring everything else he used his free hand to reach between your legs. before he could even make contact, you preened your ass backwards, making a sound of embarrassment at how wet you were. “it was when i came over to put our daughter’s dollhouse together, remember?” he whispered.

vernon let the memories flood over you as both of your bodies shivered. it was months ago, you needed help putting together the dollhouse you got your baby for christmas. you were ever much of the handyman, and vernon wanted an excuse to come over to your new place. so while she was at daycare vernon was invited over, and just like now one thing led to another until you were on top of him. 

he remembers trying to kiss your knees that were bruised from being pressed to the ground and you told him to go away. he also remembers after the fact you used the excuse that you were lonely due to the holiday season. but now it was summer and you were moaning for him like you always used to. when vernon pressed his lips to the side of your face you didn’t tell him to go away, you only turned your head to give him better access.

“you said you hated me then.” vernon said.

vernon pushed two fingers into your heat and a satisfied smile spread across his face when your lips parted. he sees you nod your head, trying to form a coherent sentence.

“i do.” you respond.

you can barely get through your sentence without your voice pitching upwards. vernon feels you attempt to push your hips back to meet hie fingers. 

“you still hate me?” vernon slips in a third finger to try and change your mind. “after all this time?” he asks.

“i do.” you say, shaking your head.

vernon takes your mixed signals as a sign he’s doing something right. maybe by the third time you come to him like this he will get you to say no, maybe even have you initiate the kissing first. he uses it as motivation to keep pumping his fingers into your heat, and bringing you closer by the hand that’s on your chest. 

when you try wedging your hand between your bodies to find vernon’s dick, he moves out of the way. he shakes his head in the crook of your neck. he imagines the look of frustration on your face, the one that’s seared into the back of his eyelids as he lifts your leg further. you fall forward once again from the new angle and vernon lets you. 

“fuck me please, vernon.” you whine into the sheets. 

you use the rest of your strength to push your body back to its side and you moved vernon’s hand down to your chest. he can feel your heart jumping in its cage as you continue whining for him. his chest swells when he feels your desperate hand reach down again to grab his dick. he lets you and looks down to guide his dick to your hand. 

when you hold him it’s his turn to whine. he forgot what it was like to be touched by you that he has half a mind to ask you to just jerk him off. he wants to see if you’ll. get that same desperate look in your eye as your hand speeds up. maybe he’ll turn you around, just so he can see your eyes blow out with lust as he finishes all over your fist. but just like always does he keeps his thoughts to himself and lets you decide what you want. when you pull his fingers out of your hole he leans forward, letting his hard dick press against your ass.

both of you are so desperate your movements become rushed. vernon ruts his dick into your ass from the haste, and you clench your hand around his tip. you have to take a second to regain your composure before you pump his dick again. he thinks you’re doing it just to hear him sigh contently and feel him impatiently rut into your hand. you continue to do it, letting the slick sounds of his precum between your hands fill the room until his sighs turn to quiet whines. 

“turn around.” vernon kisses your shoulder, pressing his lips into your skin to muffle his words “look at me.” he begs.

you ignore him, even though you both know you can hear him. you both know that the spooning position you’re in currently is too intimate for people who claim to hate eachother. you both know that eye contact is dangerous, that it would only bring back feelings you both put so much energy into denying. so vernon lets you ignore him and plays off his pleads by lightly biting your skin. you moan from the pain that lights your body like a fire, and vernon puts his hand over yours to guide his dick the rest of the way.

“ready?” vernon asks.

vernon says it just as quiet as his previous plead. when you nod and whimper out a yes he feels his heart drop. he knows it was an act of self preservation, but he wished to see your face. he had to settle for his imagination and your sounds when he pushed his tip past your entrance, pushing every inch inside you you until his hips kissed yours. you sucked him in and kept his dick in place, fitting around him like a glove. there was no better feeling in the world, nothing tasted better than the salt from your skin that stayed on vernon’s lips. he put his hand on your ass to spread you out enough to draw his hips back. he heard you fist the sheets and he felt you grab his hand on your chest to steady yourself. he slid back in just as slow, cursing each time your walls seized around him. 

it had been too long. vernon was actively abandoning all of his instincts feeling you around him. he felt himself caring less and less about not wearing a condom the closer he got.

“i’m gonna cum if you keep clenching around me like that” he grunted into your shoulder.

vernon moved his hand on your ass to press his hand deep into your lower stomach, causing you to push your hips further back. he swore he could feel himself inside of your stomach, and the sound that ripped from your throat made him believe you felt it too. the new angle let vernon push his hips further into you. you could no longer hold your head upright as you let it fall into the pillows to muffle your sounds. even now you held back, trying to keep some shred of your dignity.

vernon lifted his head to try and look down at you. he could see your eyes closed from the pleasure, and the thin layer of sweat that glistened across your face. the tiny beads and your supple skin caught in the moonlight. 

vernon bent down to kiss your cheek, trying to entice you to turn your head again. for the second time, he could tell you were ignoring him. he forgot what you were trying to protect yourself from as he felt your walls seize around him again. it was getting sporadic, and your breaths were turning into quick huffs. when your hand tightened over his vernon used his leg to raise yours even more. his hand on your stomach found your clit quickly, rubbing circles that complimented his thrusting. you finally turned your head from the mattress, you even turned a little further to look vernon in the eyes.

“i’m so close, sol.” you whispered.

vernon saw you close your eyes and catch your bottom lip between your teeth, another telltale sign of you trying to focus. you dragged his hand that gripped your chest to your neck. you looked down at you trying so desperately to take the tenderness from this moment. if vernon squeezed his hand around your neck like you wanted, it would be easy for you both to claim this was simply just a horny mistake, a borderline hate-fuck. he made that mistake the first time, hand around your neck as he told you how much he hated you. he looked into your eyes when he said it, trying to revel in the way your eyes flashed in pain between the moments of bliss. he didn’t mean it then but he definitely didn’t mean it now—like he said before he has changed. 

so instead of pressing his fingers into the veins on the side of your neck he traveled up to your chin, turning your head so you were forced to look at him. you were shocked, eyes so wide and your face so close to his vernon could see himself in the reflection of your pupils. he placed a kiss right on your lips, not pulling back until he felt your lips move against his. he sees himself in your eyes again, and he sees his spit glistening on your lips. he feels himself inside of you, and he feels your warmth cover his entire being.

“i think i was made for you.” 

vernon meant to say it quietly just for himself as a silent realization, but the way you nod makes him believe it to be true. vernon feels you get your strength back as you push your hips backwards to meet his hard and deep thrusts.

“you still are.” you moaned.

he tells himself that you are just talking to fill the void of silence. vernon also tells himself that you can’t bring yourself to ignore him for the third time this night when you’re looking him right in eyes. regardless, vernon can also feel himself getting closer as you clench repeatedly around his twitching dick.

“oh my god.” you moan.

vernon pulls your body closer when he feels you shudder against him. you start driving your hips back without rhythm, trying anything you can to keep the stimulation going. vernon still looks down at you as you cum, and he smiles at the irony of you trying so hard to keep eye contact. you give into closing your eyes when he slips a finger into your mouth, and he can feel the vibration of your moans around his digit. 

when you start getting weaker, and settling into vernon’s hold he pulls his hand from your clit to pull out. when you open your eyes again they’re glassy. they’re no longer half lidded as you grab vernon’s wrist, stopping him from pulling out.

both of you look down at your hand. you look almost as shocked as vernon, like something came over you to stop him from pulling out. vernon takes it in stride, pushing back into you with a force that has you moaning around his finger. you turns your head even further to face him. he kisses the apple of your cheek and then your lips, smiling against your pout.

“you want another baby?” vernon moved down from your cheek to your jaw. “you really wouldn’t be able to get rid of me then.” he whispered once he made it to your ear.

before you could say anything back, vernon latched onto the skin right below your ear, sucking and pressing his teeth in the area below your jaw. the stimulation made your lower half sink further down onto the mattress, until you were relying fully on vernon’s strength to keep your body up. memories flood back to vernon, but the way he still remembers how you sound and respond to everything makes him think he never forgot in the first place. both of your bodies move simultaneously, when he pulls away from your neck you tilt your head to give him access to the other side. you preen your neck towards him, whimpering quietly when he lingers above the spot.

“oh my god.” you start shaking and vernon feels your nails dig into his skin. “too much.” you whimper.

vernon turns your head back around to press let his face rest against yours. you still suck around his fingers, and he can feel you turn your head to kiss whatever parts of his face you can reach. you still clamp around him, your cum adds to the lewd sounds that fill the room.

“can i cum inside?” vernon asks.

vernon closes his eyes and focuses on everything about you. he hold back until he feels your head nod against his.

“please.” you bring your hand behind you to run through his hair. “i miss you so much” you whimper around his fingers.

“i miss you more.” vernon whispers.

he doesn’t hold back anymore as he empties into you. he turns to the crook of your neck, sucking harshly at your skin to relieve even more of the tension. when his hips still you take the lead, plating your hand onto the mattress to give your hips more stability. vernon grips your ass, kneading the flesh desperately to try and ground himself. he pulls away from your skin to whimper into your ear. 

you two can no longer speak, only communicating through the hushed sounds of euphoria. vernon brings both of his hands to wrap around you, bringing your body as close to his as possible. you can no longer push your hips back from the new angle and that’s exactly what vernon wants. he forces you both to stay still, to feel all of it—the way his dick pulses inside of you as he cums deep inside of you. even when vernon gives you all he has, you both stay in that position. you both settle deeper into the bed, catching your breath as your skin doesn’t break contact. 

neither of you want to be the first to speak or to force the other one to come back to reality. so you two remain silent as vernon pulls out. you don’t say a word when vernon turns your body around to face him, or when he pulls the covers over your sweaty bodies. he returns the favor by saying nothing when your nestle into his chest and you guide his arm to wrap around your body. 

if you liked this story and would like to support me further here is my ko-fi :)

[ahqkas]

“HEAVENLY — jason todd.

PAIRING! jason todd x gn!reader

SYNOPSIS! every moment with your boyfriend felt heavenly — even when he forgot to close the window

WARNINGS / TAGS! pure fluff

WORD COUNT! 1.9k

NOTES! it started snowing recently in my town soo i rewrote one of my older stuff . header below by @/v6que

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

HAVING JASON TODD AS A BOYFRIEND WAS LIKE INVITING A STORM TO STAY, both exhilarating and daunting. Some days, he was a menace—a tease with a roguish smile that made you want to throw a pillow at him even as you melted under his gaze. He'd linger in doorways with that devilish gleam, challenging you with his sarcasm, pushing just enough to light your fuse and revel in the spark. But he was also the blessing you'd never quite expected, with moments of gentleness, like finding a patch of blue sky amid dark clouds. He'd wrap his arms around you on nights when silence grew heavy, his warmth chasing away shadows you didn't realize were creeping in.

Waking up to the unsettling prickle of a shiver running down your body was hardly the best way to greet the morning. With a groggy sigh, you turned your head to the left, squinting at the vintage clock on your nightstand—the one Alfred had gifted you under the guise of "decor." In reality, it was less an adornment and more a tool of accountability, meant to ward off excuses like the last one you'd made: "I stayed up late because I lost track of time." It had been Alfred's gentle yet firm way of reminding you to take care of yourself. And while you had to admit it worked most of the time, today you were reluctant. The clock read 8 a.m., a perfectly reasonable time to wake, yet all you wanted was to sink back into the warmth of your blankets, to slip back into dreams.

Of course, that weariness was Jason's doing. Last night, he'd coaxed you into staying up late—well past the witching hour, maybe until 2 or 3 a.m. You'd lost track as the hours slipped away in the quiet comfort of each other's voices, filling in the gaps that too often felt like chasms in your time together. With his double life, Jason was like a ghost haunting the city's shadows, fighting to make Gotham safer, a noble but lonely battle. So when he could carve out time just for you, you treasured it, sleeplessness and all. He'd made you laugh, drawn you into those moments of closeness only the midnight hour allowed, where the world faded, leaving just the two of you. It was worth every yawn, every reluctant rise from your pillow this morning. Moments like that, with him, were a rarity you'd gladly lose sleep for.

You shifted slightly under the covers, your gaze drifting to Jason, who lay beside you. The sight of him, with his dark lashes resting softly against his cheek and his lips slightly parted, made a smile tug at the corner of your mouth. He looked so much like the term innocence in those rare moments of stillness, his usual sharp edges softened in sleep. His strong arm was draped across your waist, holding you close in that possessive yet tender way he always did, even in his sleep. The weight of it was comforting, grounding—like a reminder that no matter how chaotic his world was, you were his anchor, just as he was yours. His breathing was slow and steady, the rise and fall of his chest the only movement in the room, save for the faint sway of the curtains from the morning breeze. You could tell he was still exhausted, his body betraying the fatigue that even sleep couldn't fully chase away.

As you lay there, your attention shifted from Jason's peaceful, sleepy form to the source of the chill that had pulled you from your slumber—the open window. The faint light of dawn filtered in, casting a soft glow over the room, but it did little to combat the cool draft creeping through the crack in the glass.

Shivering again, you curled closer into Jason's side, the cold air clashing against the heat his body radiated. His arm tightened slightly around your waist, almost as if sensing your discomfort, but he remained blissfully unaware, lost in the kind of peaceful sleep you rarely saw from him. His body was always so tightly wound, even in his rest, like a coil ready to spring at any moment. But now, his relaxed form and steady breathing made you feel safe, even with the chill around you.

A quiet realization settled over you as your eyes lingered on the open window. It hadn't been you who left it open. Jason, of course. He must've forgotten to close it after stumbling in last night, exhausted from his patrol. You could picture it—him half-dazed, muscles aching, eyes clouded with the weight of the night's work, and then . . . the window left ajar, as if his mind couldn't juggle the simple task with everything else on his plate.

You couldn't help the smile that crept onto your face as you watched him, still wrapped in the softness of sleep, completely oblivious to the cold creeping into the room. You reached out, your fingers brushing gently through his hair, tucking the messy strands away from his forehead. The motion was so familiar, so gentle, that it almost felt like a silent promise, a reassurance that you were there, even in these small moments.

Jason stirred slightly, the warmth of your touch pulling him from his dreams. His face twitched, and his eyelashes fluttered against the pillow as he tried to shake off the fog of sleep. Still, he didn't open his eyes, his lips parting in a soft sigh.

You continued, fingers grazing the soft waves of his hair, brushing them back with a tenderness that made your heart skip. The movement was slow, gentle, just enough to stir him without fully pulling him into wakefulness.

"Jay," you whispered, your voice playful but still soft. "Did you forget something last night?"

He groaned softly, his body shifting as if to pull you closer, but you pulled back just enough to keep him from falling back into slumber. His forehead creased as his eyes barely fluttered open, still trying to hang onto the warmth of sleep. The half-conscious look he gave you was adorable, though tinged with confusion.

"Hmm? What?" His voice was rough from sleep, a soft rasp that only made your heart ache in the best way.

You gave him a teasing smile, brushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "The window," you said, your tone laced with mischievous scolding. "It's freezing in here."

Jason blinked, clearly processing the words, before his eyes finally focused enough to glance toward the open window. Realization dawned on him slowly, and he groaned again, his face half-buried in the pillow as if wishing to escape the responsibility. But the corner of his mouth twitched upward into that familiar, apologetic grin he often sported.

"Guess I forgot," he muttered, though his voice was still full of sleep. "Sorry."

"You're lucky I'm comfortable here," you teased, brushing your fingers through his hair again, this time a little more deliberately, letting the soft texture soothe both of you.

"Yeah, I'm really lucky," he murmured, pulling you back against him, his arm tightening around your waist. "I'll close it in a minute."

You couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped your lips. "Nope, I'm not letting you off that easy."

Jason groaned, clearly not thrilled about leaving the warmth of the bed, but the glint in your eyes was enough to get him moving. Slowly, he pushed himself up, his bare chest exposed to the chill in the room. His dark sweatpants hung low on his hips, the fabric clinging to his frame in a way that left little to the imagination.

For a moment, you just lay there, frozen in the softness of the morning light, admiring him as he moved to close the window. His muscles rippled with each movement—his broad shoulders, the defined lines of his chest and abs, all sculpted from the life he led, one of endless challenges and unspoken battles. There were scars, of course—some faint, others more pronounced—etched into his skin like a map of his past, each one a testament to the strength he carried, the price he paid for the man he was now.

You didn't need to ask about them; they were part of him. And though they were reminders of the violence and pain he'd endured, they didn't repulse you. If anything, they made him more real, more human. More Jason.

You felt your heart swell as your gaze lingered on him, his broad back flexing as he pulled the window shut with a soft click, his body turning toward you. The air felt warmer now, the room no longer biting with the chill it had moments ago. But the warmth you felt wasn't just from the room—it was him. It always had been.

Jason caught your gaze as he turned, his lips curving into that signature, lazy grin, completely unaware of the way you were drinking him in. "See? All fixed," he said, voice thick with sleep but still holding that certain edge.

You smiled back, but it was softer, more sincere than you realized. "Yeah, thanks." Your voice caught in your throat for just a moment as your eyes wandered over him again, and you had to blink a couple of times to keep the heat from rushing to your cheeks.

Jason's smile faltered as he noticed the way you were looking at him, that quiet admiration on your face. He took a slow step forward, his posture casual but with a subtle vulnerability underneath, something that always seemed to surface when he felt the weight of your gaze on him. "What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, but there was a touch of humor in his voice. "Something on my face?"

You shook your head, trying to snap out of your daze. "No," you said, voice a little quieter now, "just—just you."

He stepped closer, his expression softening like it always did in your presence. "What about me?"

You smiled again, but this time, it was all warmth and affection. "I love you," you said simply, your voice barely a whisper, but it was the truth. Every scar, every muscle, every part of him. It was all Jason.

Jason stood there for a moment, eyes locking with yours, as if reading the quiet sincerity in your gaze.

"Yeah?" he murmured, his voice a little raspier than usual, thick with emotion. He reached up, his hand brushing gently against your cheek, a soft gesture that seemed to speak volumes more than words could.

You nodded, your smile still there, but now tinged with a softness that only Jason could bring out of you. "Yeah," you whispered again, a little breathless, "just you, Jason."

For a long moment, he didn't say anything. He just looked at you, his gaze deep and knowing, like he was searching for something in your eyes. And then, with a slight curve of his lips, he whispered it back, his voice so raw, so full of everything he usually kept hidden beneath layers of sarcasm and nonchalance.

"I love you."

It was simple, but the way he said it—the way his hand lingered on the apple of your cheek, the way his eyes softened, like the weight of the world didn't matter as long as you were  there—made the words feel more real than anything.

You felt your heart skip a beat, warmth blooming inside you at the truth in his words. This was Jason, in every imperfect, beautiful way. And you loved him just as much, maybe even more, for all of it.

[nadvs]

hard to ignore (two-shot) (part two)

pairing singledad! zach maclaren x nanny! female reader

summary when you’re offered a job as a nanny, you can tell right away that you’ll grow fond of the little girl you’re taking care of. things are easy to manage until you realize you’re falling for her dad.

content warning parental abandonment

» part one

» masterlist

Zach gets you and his daughter box seats for his next home game.

It happens to be on your first day back at work after his family leaves and he jokes that sooner is better than later, not only because his team might get knocked out of the playoffs, but also because Ella could change her mind about wanting to come.

The private space overlooking the stadium is small, only a handful of other people there, as the late afternoon sun shines over the rich green field.

You learned that Zach is a major league soccer player minutes into meeting him. You knew he had an unusual life and a certain level of notoriety as a professional athlete. But seeing the crowds filling the seats below you makes it real to you.

The music and the announcer’s voice boom through the stadium, fireworks going off as players rush the field. All this craziness doesn’t match the man you know. Zach is kind and humble and beneath his silly sense of humor, he has a gentleness to him that you’d never expect from someone whose last name is sprawled over fans’ jerseys, who’s getting cheered for so loudly that it’s deafening.

Ella excitedly claps when her father appears on the stadium screen, his face hard as he jogs under the bright lights. You gaze ahead in awe, unable to believe that this is the world he lives in when he’s not at the house, running around with his daughter, thanking you for everything you do.

After the game ends in a draw, you take Ella home in time for dinner. As you drive, wipers cleaning away the drizzle that just started to fall, she excitedly rambles about the experience from the backseat. You smile to yourself, glad that she enjoyed herself and proud that you’re the reason she went.

As usual, Ella slips out of her chair with a mouthful of food when she hears the front door open halfway into dinner. You watch her dart out of the dining room, listening to the huff Zach lets out every time his daughter roughly launches herself into his arms.

“That was so cool!” you overhear.

“Really?” he says. “You didn’t get bored?”

“Um, it was kind of too long,” she says, “but I had pictures to color.”

“Appreciate your honesty,” Zach replies with a laugh.

They round the corner to enter the dining room and when Zach’s eyes land on you, your heart does a somersault.

“Hey,” he says to you, nervous.

“Hi,” you reply. “Thanks for the fancy seats.”

“They were alright?”

“Good enough for two princesses,” you tease.

“Princess ballerinas,” Ella corrects you as she sits down again.

“Right,” you say. “Sorry. I keep forgetting that we’re princess ballerinas now.”

Zach mirrors your smile, loving the feeling of sharing a moment like this with you. You stand to clean your plate and it reminds him of what his mother said a couple of nights ago. That you look at him the same way he looks at you.

He hopes that it’s true, because he can’t take his eyes off of you. He’s a little embarrassed that you saw him in a match. He’s always loved soccer, but he never liked how much attention is on him as a major league player.

“Maybe you should wait out the rain,” Zach says to you. “It started coming down hard on my drive home.”

“Good idea,” you say, happy to spend more time with him.

The rest of dinner consists of Ella happily chattering with you and Zach. As she clears her plate, Zach’s phone buzzes on the table top. His lips purse in worry at the notification, and then he shows you the severe thunderstorm warning message on his screen.

“That looks bad,” you say. “How long is it supposed to go on for?”

“It says into the early morning,” Zach answers. “Do you want to crash here?”

“I’m sure I could make it home,” you say. “I’ll just drive slowly.”

Zach’s lips part, and then he closes his mouth, simply nodding.

“What?” you chuckle. His eyes dart away.

“Just worried about you,” he admits. You huff an endeared laugh.

“Fine. I’ll sleep here,” you decide.

He sighs a breath of relief and says, “Thanks.”

Zach takes Ella to bed and you settle on the couch, glad you already have everything you’ll need in your overnight bag in the guest room. You eventually hear his footsteps coming down the stairs over the sounds of the television and the rain hammering down on the roof.

He sits on the other end of the couch next to you, so far that a person could easily sit between you. It’s typical Zach, never getting too close to you. The only time he’s ever touched you is when he shook your hand before your interview half a year ago.

“She fell asleep while I was explaining what offside means,” he says with an adorably puzzled expression. “Trying not to be offended.”

“I can’t believe she’s actually interested in soccer,” you say.

“Ouch.” Zach puts his hand over his heart. “Okay, I’m offended now.”

“I mean because you said she never cared before,” you laugh.

“I asked her so many times if she’d want to come to a game,” he huffs. “But you suggest it once and she’s immediately in. She always listens to you.”

“Not when I’m trying to convince her to leave the park,” you say. He chuckles. “Can you believe she’s starting kindergarten soon?”

Admittedly, Zach’s concerned about it. In less than a month, Ella will be going to school and he never was one to have much anxiety before he became a father, but all he does now is worry. He doesn’t want any teachers or kids to be harsh with his little girl. She’s already been through enough.

“She’ll be okay,” you say.

“What?”

“You have that worried look on your face,” you tell him. “She’ll love school. I’m sure of it.”

“You can read me pretty well,” he says, smiling. You shrug timidly, thinking back to how quickly he’d noticed something was bothering you on the night of Ella’s birthday.

“What?” he asks.

“It goes both ways,” you admit. “You saw right through me after the party.”

Zach’s jaw tightens, the playfulness between you replaced by a fragile air. He takes a breath before speaking. He knows he needs to have this conversation with you.

“Do you feel better about what she said?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you reply. Now that you’ve had some time to process, you’re okay. “How about you?”

“Well,” he begins, nerves tightening in his stomach, “it wasn’t easy to hear. Ella shouldn’t have to wish she had a different mom. Jade should be here for her.”

He’s never said her name. He’s never looked like this before, his eyes avoiding yours, hand trembling a bit as he scratches his jaw. You can tell this is hard for him to talk about. But he’s choosing to do it with you.

“You said ex-wife that night, but she was never my wife,” Zach admits.

“Oh. Sorry. I just assumed.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I know I haven’t told you much. When we talked that night, it reminded me of just how much you don’t know about it. I just… I hope you know that you’re… you’re so much more than Ella’s nanny. You’re our friend. And you’re obviously a mother figure to her. And it feels weird that you don’t know what happened.”

His words sink into you, every syllable having an effect on your heartbeat.

“What happened?”

“Ella was a surprise,” he tells you. “Jade and I were dating in our senior year of college when we found out she was pregnant. And then I got drafted into the league and we graduated and everything was happening so fast, but we were happy and… I stayed happy and she didn’t.”

You nibble on your bottom lip, looking at him as his eyes stay trained off of yours.

“We broke up a few months after Ella was born. But we were both sure we could handle co-parenting. She stayed at home while I worked. I could see she didn’t like it, though. She wasn’t a bad mother or anything. She just wasn’t very… affectionate with Ella.”

Your chest tightens. It’s painful to imagine Ella wanting love and not getting it.

“I don’t know. I thought she’d eventually feel how I feel about being a parent. I tried everything,” Zach says, remembering how he’d encouraged Jade to go to therapy or take time away or work while they hired help. It was like she was stuck in her unhappiness. “But then she left and… that was it.”

He finally looks at you and the tenderness in your eyes gives him a breath of fresh air. It’s what you do. Just by being you, you give him the push to stay hopeful that he and his daughter will be okay.

“We weren’t in a good place when you came. But you made things so much better,” he says. “You do an amazing job taking care of her. I really appreciate it.”

Your eyes light up, the smile on your face gentle.

“Thank you for saying that,” you say. “And thank you for telling me the full story. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Zach sighs now that the weight of reliving it is gone.

“I really do love her. I meant it when I said it.” At this point, you’re sure you love him, too, but you wouldn’t dare say it out loud. “And I feel lucky to get to watch her grow up. This doesn’t even feel like a job to me anymore.”

“So, what I’m hearing is, you don’t want the pay?” he says. You find relief in his joke, tossing your head back with a laugh. “Seriously, though, let me know if you need me to keep things the same while you’re part-time during the school year. I don’t mind.”

“Wait, are you offering to pay me for hours I’m not even working?” you chuckle. “Zach, no. I’m good. I have other things lined up. But thank you.”

“What? Everyone knows you should always accept free money.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say. “How do you even have the energy to joke around right now? I just watched you run around for ninety minutes.”

Like always, Zach blushes when you bring up his job. He’s intense and focused on the pitch, but he’s different when he’s at ease at home.

“There’s a break in the middle,” he replies.

“I stand corrected,” you say. “So, how’d you get into soccer?”

Your conversation quickly and easily drifts into topics you hadn’t explored before, the storm raging outside as you learn more about him and he learns more about you. He’s still on the other end of the couch, but soon, his arm is resting against the back of it, his hand inches away from you as you sink into the soft cushions, beaming at each other as you talk.

You don’t want to stop, but eventually you can’t stifle your yawn, prompting Zach to check his watch.

“Jeez,” he says. “Ella went down three hours ago.”

“Are you serious?” You sit up. “That flew by.”

Zach knew that the more he learned about you, the more of a goner he’d be. It feels like he just went on the best date of his life and all he did was sit on his couch and talk.

There’s something between you and he hopes that it’s not just his infatuation misguiding him.

────୨ৎ────

You were right. He had nothing to worry about. Ella’s more than happy at school. It’s only a week into the year and she’s already naming all her new friends when Zach picks her up Friday afternoon.

Her first dance recital is tonight and he’s looking forward to seeing you and his family there. Ella had even mentioned that her other grandparents could come. They were elated to get the invitation.

And of course, when he arrives at the studio that evening, you’re already there, reliable and steady like you always are. You greet him and his family warmly and introduce yourself to Jade’s parents.

It feels wrong to hear you refer to yourself as Ella’s nanny. You’ve been in his life for eight months now and you’ve nestled your way into his soul so deeply that he knows you’ll stay with him forever.

He’s been grappling with this since he first realized he had feelings for you; this bothersome sense of wrong. He can’t pursue you. Technically, no matter how much it doesn’t feel like it, he is your boss. He pays you to take care of his child. If things went sideways, it could push you to leave.

Although he’s never felt this much love for a woman in his life, it’d be selfish. He can’t do it to Ella. He didn’t even want to date other women when Jade was still around simply because it could confuse his daughter.

But you’re different.

His thoughts are interrupted when you look at him, pulling him out of his haze.

“I saved us seats,” you tell him.

Zach’s sitting between you and his father when the recital starts. Eventually, Ella drifts across the middle of the floor between the other dancers.

“This is the part she’s nervous about,” you whisper to him, recalling how she’d told you that this part in the choreography makes her trip sometimes.

You watch her hop sideways, focused as the music grows faster. You’re so on edge that you don’t realize your hand slips into Zach’s, squeezing nervously. She lands her last skip and rejoins the group. You let out a sigh of relief. Then, you look down, seeing your fingers wrapped around Zach’s.

“Sorry,” you say, trying to laugh it off as you pull your hand back. “I think I’m taking a five-year-old’s dance recital a little too seriously.”

Zach can only offer a tight smile. His team’s inching closer to advancing to the championship semi-finals and the pressure has never been heavier, but even that hasn’t affected him like the tension he’s feeling right now. His whole body is on fire from your touch, and it won’t go away.

When the recital comes to an end, Zach leans closer to you to murmur over the applause surrounding you.

“You going out to dinner with us?” he asks.

“Do I have to?” you quip.

“What, you got a date or something?” He worries that the joke was too much. Too flirty.

But you laugh and say, “I haven’t had a date or something in forever. Yeah, I’ll come.” Although it’s hard to believe that a woman like you is single, he’s glad you are.

The eight of you sit in the busy restaurant, making conversation. As Zach expected, Ella insisted she sit next to you. You have endless patience for her, listening to her talk, answering her questions, letting her pick off your plate. He would move mountains for his child. He can tell you’d do the same.

Zach picks up the bill and you all say your goodbyes to Jade’s parents, who insisted they didn’t need to stay the night. Before you head out, you tell his family it was nice to see them again. He can tell you’re a little surprised when his mother pulls you in for a hug, but you kindly return it.

Connie obviously appreciates everything you’ve done for her son and granddaughter. Zach tries not to daydream too much, but he likes imagining being your boyfriend and telling you that his mom called that you’d become something one day.

When you say bye to Zach, your gazes meet like you’ve been waiting for a private moment for ages. Things changed on the night you stayed over. You went from friends to a gray area of something more, neither of you acting on it but knowing it’s there.

Only an hour after Ella falls asleep, Zach’s parents and sister turn in for the night, tired from their drive in. Zach is too wired, silently sitting in his living room, his tea not having its usual effect of soothing him.

He goes through his camera roll, wishing he could go for a drive to relax, but not wanting to leave his daughter in case she needs him. He stares at a photo his mother took of you and him and Ella earlier tonight after the recital, Ella’s hair frizzy from all the jumping around she did.

His smile is wide and so is yours and you look like more than just someone he hired to help take care of his daughter. You look like a family.

He opens your conversation and sends you the photo. It’s nearing 10 p.m. and he’s not sure if you’re already asleep, but you respond a minute later: Aw I love this. Thanks :) How’s your night going?

Zach responds: Good… but everyone’s asleep and I’m still wide awake. Yours?

You reply: Is your tea not working?

He smiles to himself and texts back: Not this time.

You text: I’m kind of wired, too.

How come?

Not sure.

He replies with a joke: Could be Ella’s fault. I saw her eat a lot of your dinner. It’s probably hunger keeping you awake.

Once again, his mind drifts to the way your palm felt against the back of his hand tonight. Then, he hears a door open upstairs. In case it’s Ella, he quietly rushes up the stairs to run into his mom, who’s leaving the bathroom.

“Sorry,” he whispers when he startles her. “I thought Ella woke up and I didn’t want her to think I was gone.”

“I’m sure she’ll be deep asleep until the morning,” Connie says. She notices he’s still in the clothes he wore to the recital. “Can’t sleep?”

“No,” he chuckles. “I’d go for a drive, but I–”

“If she wakes up, I’m here and if she needs you, I’ll call. Go. You need to take care of yourself, too.”

“I’m fine.”

“Go for a drive,” his mother insists. “She’s okay. I promise.”

Zach considers it. With work and Ella and you, his mind has been sort of chaotic. A drive, even a short one, will give him some relief.

“Thanks,” he finally says, giving his mom a grateful smile.

The streetlights plunge him in and out of darkness as he drives through town. When he got in the car, the impulse to go see you seemed ridiculous. With every minute that passes, it feels less and less silly.

Zach eventually pulls over and looks at his phone, staring at the text message he sent you ten minutes ago. How could he even ask to come over without coming on too strong or crossing a boundary?

He’s not sure if he believed in signs from the universe before, but when you text him right when he’s considering if he should text you, he takes it as his answer.

Nothing is ever her fault. But now I’m having a midnight snack lol. Are you still awake?

He replies: Yes. Just driving around. Do you want company?

He’s nervous as he waits. But then you send him your address.

Minutes later, you open your door to gentle knocks, heart skipping when you see him. At this point, being apart from Zach is starting to hurt. You lied when you texted him. You know exactly why you’re wired. It’s because he won’t leave your mind.

“Hi,” he says, a pink hue on his cheeks. “Kind of crazy that you’ve been to my house a million times, but I have no idea what your place looks like.”

“Is that why you’re here?” you ask. “You need to see it that bad?”

“I think it’s what’s keeping me awake.”

You laugh, stepping back, inviting him in. Zach’s eyes travel over your apartment, taking in every little piece that you’ve put into it. Being here is more intimate than he expected. And then you shut the door behind him, thickening the tension, both of you now sharing complete privacy in a way you never have before.

“Is that an Ella original?” he says, pointing to a drawing stuck on your fridge.

“Yup. That’s me and her and the castle we live in,” you tell him. You lead him into the kitchen as you gaze at the bright crayon marking the paper. “And that’s her horse. She was very adamant about it being her horse. But I can pet it if I ask nicely.”

He laughs and gazes at the drawing, touched that you’d keep something his daughter made up on display. Even when you’re not at the house, you want to be reminded of her.

“Where am I?” he asks in mock offense.

“I’m sure she meant to include you, but the horse took up too much space,” you explain, looking over your shoulder up at him. He’s inches away from you, towering above you. You’re so close to him that you can see the stubble growing over his jaw.

“The tutus are a nice touch,” he says, pointing to the pink skirts drawn on both of you. You laugh and turn to face him all the way. You clear your throat, smitten that he’s really here.

“She was great tonight, huh?” you ask.

“She was.” Zach’s smile is bright, the same way it always is whenever he talks about her. “And she wanted all the grandparents there.”

“I think that’s progress.”

“Me, too.” He exhales. “It was an almost perfect night.”

“Almost?”

“My hand still hurts,” he mumbles, face pinching as he looks down at his hand.

“Listen…” you say with a bashful smile. “I’m sorry, okay? I was stressed.” Zach laughs and it takes everything in him not to hug you. “Was it really that bad?”

“So bad,” he teases, flexing his hand. “You’re too reckless.”

“Reckless? Is that what you think of me?”

Zach cocks his head, staring down at you with a look that burns through you, and soberly says, “No. It’s not.”

His gaze drifts over your face, taking you in slowly. You think back to the first time you saw those eyes, sad and distant. Comparing the way he looked that morning to how he’s gazing at you right now is like comparing black and white.

The light atmosphere has quickly been replaced by a somberness hanging over both of you. Your heart is thumping against your chest. Hard.

“What, then?” you ask.

How can he even find the words to describe how you make him feel? You fit perfectly in every way. You settled into his life like there was always a place waiting just for you. Even tonight, when you grabbed his hand for only a moment, it felt like he was born to be touched by you.

You’ve brought light to his life. He always looked forward to coming home to his daughter, and now he looks forward to coming home to you, too. And having to continue to live like this, acting like his heart isn’t completely yours, is torture.

“I think you’re…” Zach’s tone is low, lids dropping as he looks at your lips before he speaks again. “Perfect.”

Your breath catches. You’ve been able to keep yourself away from him for what feels like ages. You’re not sure you’ll have the strength for much longer. This is the moment where everything can change. You know you both feel it.

“Should I not be here?” he says quietly.

It’s his way of making sure you’re okay. That you want him to be here as badly as he wants to be here. That even though maybe this shouldn’t be happening, you have faith that it will only bring you both joy, and you don’t need to consider the risks because you’ll never have to face them.

He looks so painfully unsure that you long to comfort him. Your hand finds his and he laces his warm fingers between yours the instant he feels you. He exhales slowly, never having felt so vulnerable before.

Too much is on the line. He’s only thinking of himself right now. He shouldn’t have come here, he shouldn’t have given in, he shouldn’t have–

“Stay,” you whisper. Your simple word untangles the knot in his chest. You step closer to seal the distance that remains between you. His eyes finally drift back up to find yours.

“I can’t help how I feel about you,” Zach murmurs. “I don’t want to mess up how good things are, but I just…”

He trails off into silence, sighing shakily.

“I know,” you say. “Me, too.”

“Tell me to leave,” he says with a note of pity. You breathe a sad chuckle.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you here.”

Zach’s grip on your hand tightens, his heart feeling like it’s just been put together after being fractured for years. His lips part and while he doesn’t know how to say how much your words mean to him, he knows how to show it.

He leans closer, cupping your face, capturing your lips with a soft and impatient kiss. You dissolve into bliss, eyelids fluttering closed as his hot mouth presses against yours, head swimming, body buzzing.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, eyelashes overlapping as you kiss deeply, hungrily tasting each other in adoration. His arms circle around you and surround you in warmth.

He lets out a short, almost silent moan against your lips, relieved and assured and grateful that you want him this badly, too. Everything about this feels right. He’s where he’s supposed to be, standing here, kissing you, baring his soul.

You’re breathless when you eventually pull away, eyes slowly opening as he tilts to plant a lazy kiss on your forehead, thumbs stroking your cheeks.

“I kept telling myself that I can’t like you,” he says against your skin. “Do you have any idea how impossible that is?”

You exhale a contented sigh, afraid that you did actually doze off and that this is all just a dream.

“I think I do,” you reply.

Zach’s laugh is breathy, leaning back just enough to look at you. He’s in awe, his lips tender from pressing against yours, his knees weak as he holds your face in his hands. Now that he doesn’t have to hide it or force himself not to stare, he lets himself drown in your eyes.

He brushes his lips against yours again and you smile under the kiss, placing your palm over his hand.

“Is this the hand I hurt?” you tease, gently squeezing.

“Ow,” he playfully winces, making you laugh. You nuzzle your cheek against his palm and smile up at him.

“You sure you like me?” you say. He’s sure he loves you, but it’s too much, too soon to say at this moment. “You know you can’t afford any injuries right now.”

“Worth it,” Zach plays along.

“I keep wanting to ask you about work,” you say. He hasn’t spoken much about playoffs, but you did a little research on his team’s standings. “How has it been? Are you stressed?”

“Pressure’s on, but I’m fine,” he says simply. Your words won’t find you at first. It’s sort of unbelievable how he doesn’t ever flaunt his success, not even a little bit.

“That’s it?” you laugh.

“What?”

“Your team could go to the finals and you’re just fine?” you say.

“How’d you know that?” he says, his heart warming.

“Had to look it up. Not like you’ll tell me,” you quip, pulling away, his hands falling off of you. Zach chuckles, following you into your living room.

“Are we fighting already?” he asks.

“We won’t be if you tell me why you get all cute and shy whenever you talk about your job,” you say, settling on the couch.

He sits to face you, his knee bumping yours. You love that he’s as close as you want him to be, instead of keeping a distance like before. He finds your hands, holding them in his.

“Just a second,” Zach mumbles. “I need to process that you called me cute.”

You giggle, leaning forward to nuzzle against his chest.

“I’m serious,” you say, your voice muffled by his shirt. “We talk about my job all the time.”

“Oh, come on. Because we have to. That’s the whole deal.”

“Is it?”

Zach sighs, kissing the top of your head, loving the way your body slightly shakes with your laughter. You sit up again, looking down as you interlace your fingers with his, playing with his hands as you wait for him to speak.

“I love soccer,” he says, “but I never expected I’d be good enough to go pro. And somehow, I did and all the attention that comes with it is just… it’s not me. I’ve never been the loudest guy in the room. Never wanted to be.”

You nod. You could tell soon after meeting him that while he’s confident and loves to joke around, he’s not one to demand the spotlight.

“And now the more attention I get,” he continues, “the more people might want to know about me and I’d rather keep Ella safe and give her a normal life.”

He scratches his cheek, uncertainty flashing on his face.

“And… I’m not exactly proud that I’m not working a normal job. I’m always thinking that maybe it’d be better for Ella if I had a nine to five, but the pay is great and I can’t play forever, so I just want to save up as much as I can for her. Then I’ll find something more steady.”

You're sure you’ve never met a person this humble. It’s nice to know what goes on in his head after having wondered for so long.

“Will you still even need a nanny then?” you ask lightheartedly. Zach purses his lips as he nods.

“I will if she’s you.” You smile as he pulls you in, holding you as your cheek rests against his shoulder.

“I don’t think there’s anything that you shouldn’t be proud of,” you tell him. “You’re an amazing father.”

“You don’t know how nice it is to hear you say that,” he admits. The worries that he’s being selfish have been gnawing at him for a long time. He’s always concerned he’s making the wrong choices for his daughter.

“I think it every time I see you with her. I know you said she was a surprise, but you treat her like being her dad is all you’ve ever wanted.”

Zach leans to kiss your forehead over and over again, palm gently pressed on your cheek, like he’s making up for all the times he wanted to kiss you but couldn’t. You start to giggle under all the kisses, hugging him tighter.

“Speaking of,” you say, “I’m sure you’re thinking it, too, but we should keep acting like we’re just friends when we’re around our boss.”

He breathes a chuckle, nodding as he looks down at you lovingly.

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “We’ll take it slow. She’ll be so happy when we tell her.”

“You think so?” you say, your heart blooming from the certainty in his words, from the way he unabashedly intends on being with you and telling his daughter.

“She’s always asking me if I like you.” Truthfully, Ella asks if he loves you, but again, he doesn’t want to use that word until he’s sure you’re comfortable with it.

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah,” he says. “She actually asks if I like you yet. It’s like she knows it’s inevitable.”

You realize that the way you’re wrapped up in each other does feel like it was always inevitable. You know that your heart would never have been able to resist him. You’re glad he feels the same way about you.

────୨ৎ────

A week after the night in your apartment is the semi-final. You’re sitting in the living room playing with Ella with the game on in the background. She’s partly interested, whereas you can’t ignore the ball of nerves sitting deep in your stomach.

Zach’s been opening up more about his job when you get time alone, admitting that the pressure can give him tunnel-vision sometimes. You’ve taken on the workload as much as you can so that he’s not too stressed.

You’ve kept things the same when you’re around Ella and you’ve already determined that if she asks why you’re so invested in what’s on tv, you’ll simply say you grew an interest in soccer after the home game you both attended. But she’s too busy playing with clay to care.

The first half ends with no goals scored. You set up an afternoon snack for Ella, letting her help, your mind elsewhere as you imagine Zach in the locker room, wondering what his coach is telling him and what he’s thinking about at this moment.

Five minutes after half-time, the opponents score. Your heart sinks. Twenty minutes later, Zach scores. You have to stifle how loudly you want to cheer.

Then, the game goes to penalty shoot-outs. Zach had told you how much he hates when a game comes down to that. It’s a nail-biting few minutes, but Zach’s team wins, securing their spot in the finals. In his next game, his team could take the cup.

Right before dinner, you and Ella change into the jerseys you’d secretly bought a few days ago. Zach already told you that even if his team wants to celebrate a win together, he’d prefer to see you two, so you know he’s coming straight home.

He steps through the front door to see you in his team’s jerseys, rushing to give him a hug. Your arms are around his shoulders while Ella’s are around his hips, both of you excitedly cheering. Zach’s heart has never felt so full.

“So, I take it you watched it?” he mumbles into your hair, reveling in the familiar aroma of your shampoo. It takes everything in you not to kiss him when you pull back.

“You did amazing,” you tell him.

“Daddy, do cats ever come to your games?” Ella asks.

Zach looks at you, puzzled.

“There was a commercial with clips of animals crashing soccer games,” you explain, laughing. “It’s a valid question.”

“I haven’t seen any,” he tells her, kneeling to meet her eyeline. “But I hope we get one so I can tell you all about it.”

“Could we keep it?” she asks.

“If a cat comes onto our field and it doesn’t have an owner, sure, we can keep it,” he says. She jumps excitedly, then runs off to play. Zach stands up again, grinning at you.

“Don’t let her watch any more matches,” he says. “If a cat shows up, I’m done for.” You laugh, crossing your arms simply to keep yourself from touching him.

“Congratulations,” you say. “I know you don’t like the attention, but you deserve it.”

“Thanks.” He looks down at your jersey. “It looks great on you.”

“Yeah?” you ask, turning to show him the back. It’s his last name and number. He almost can’t believe this is really happening, that he met someone like you who cares about him this much.

“Better on you, I think,” you say.

“Impossible.”

You face him and he gazes at your lips in the way you know means he wants to kiss you. In the few private moments you’ve had since you confessed your feelings for each other, you’ve shared warm hugs and sweet kisses. You can’t wait until you don’t have to hide your love for him anymore.

“Dinner in twenty,” you tell him. “I bet you worked up an appetite.”

Zach’s legs are heavy as he trudges up the stairs, partly from fatigue, but mostly because the last thing his body wants to do is be away from you.

────୨ৎ────

Zach’s family drives in to watch the championship game at the house. You weren’t all that nervous around them before, but now that you and Zach are privately dating, you’re eager to impress them.

He had mentioned to you that he hadn’t told them about you yet, but he’s hoping to the next time he sees them. He also told you how his mom had a suspicion about you two, which makes you hope you’re not too obvious.

It’s only been a couple of weeks since you decided to date, but every moment you get alone with Zach isn’t long enough. You knew he was kind-hearted, but now that he’s not holding back, he showers you with affection and compliments, reminding you of how much he appreciates you every day.

Just like it is with Zach, it’s easy with his family. You talk and snack and take turns playing with Ella while you watch the game. The game starts off as promising, but unfortunately, the final ends with a loss for his team.

“He did tell me they were kind of the underdogs,” you say to his family sadly, watching the screen. “I still think it’s great that he got this far.”

The stadium he’s playing in is hours away and he won’t be getting home until after midnight. You spend the rest of the evening with Zach’s family, wishing you could see him and give him a comforting hug.

When Zach gets to the locker room, dejected and disappointed, he checks his phone to see a text from you. I know it’s not how you wanted the season to end, but you played an amazing game. We’re all so proud of you, no matter what.

It’s ten minutes past midnight when you hear the front door open. You’ve been sitting in the kitchen, staying awake on your phone after everyone turned in for the night. You turn on the kettle you already filled with water and find Zach in the dim hallway, meeting his eyes with sympathy.

“You’re here,” he mumbles in surprise. You only close the distance, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tightly.

“Wanted to see you,” you whisper. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve had better days,” he admits, kissing your neck. “This feels good, though.”

“I’m making you some tea if you want it,” you tell him, “but if you’d rather go to bed, I get it.”

“Tea sounds good.” He pulls back, stroking your cheek. “You’re really proud of me? Even though I’m a total loser?”

You half-chuckle, nudging him.

“Never call yourself that again,” you say.

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll stop ‘accidentally’ making too much food,” you joke, earning a chuckle from him.

You settle in the kitchen, reminded of the first time you sat together like this all those months ago to plan Ella’s birthday party. Now she’s halfway to six years old, growing faster than you could have ever anticipated.

After you put the steaming mug of tea in front of him, Zach puts his hand over yours, squeezing.

“I tried to be positive but I saw it coming,” he admits to you. “They were the stronger team. We’ll just train harder and hopefully get them next year.”

“And I’ll be with you every step of the way,” you say. “Just don’t beat yourself up over this, okay? You’re not a loser.”

“Baby…” Zach breathes a chuckle. “Being with you makes me feel like I’m always winning. It sucks to get this far and to put so much work in just to lose, but knowing you and Ella are waiting for me at home… That's what my life is really about.”

You stare at him, awestruck, heart beating so hard that you can hear it in your ears.

“I love you,” he says. “I’m sorry if it’s too soon to say, but I’ve loved you for a long time.”

You bite your lip, giving into the urge to lean closer and kiss him. When you pull back, palm resting on his cheek, you smile.

“I love you, too,” you say. “It’s not too soon.”

“Phew. I was more nervous about telling you than I was about the game,” he says. You laugh, pinching his cheek.

“Stop being so cute,” you whisper.

“I can’t help it,” he quips. “I didn’t forget how you said you haven’t been on a date in forever. What do you think about tomorrow night? Ella will stay with my family and you and I can go out for dinner.”

“That sounds perfect,” you tell him. You chat a little longer before you head home.

When Zach tells his mother he’s taking you out for dinner the next morning, she’s overjoyed to hear that you’re an item now and throws in a few ‘I told you so’s. When the evening rolls around, he tells Ella he’s running some errands and instead drives to pick you up from your place.

Sitting across from you at a restaurant on a real date feels like a dream. He holds your hand on the table and nudges your knee with his every so often, unable to keep his hands off of you like usual. It’s like talking with a best friend, the conversation flowing so naturally that he refuses to believe he’s only known you for just shy of a year.

When he drives you home after dinner, you lose track of time kissing him goodnight.

────୨ৎ────

You and Zach had discussed that today would be the day. Now that you’ve been together for over eight months, he’s ready to tell Ella.

It’s a Saturday and Zach’s making lunch while you and Ella set the table. Long gone are the days of spending just a few minutes together, one of you arriving at the house while the other one gets ready to leave. The three of you are almost always a unit now, settled into a routine.

After lunch, you leave as planned so he can talk to her one-on-one. Zach finds Ella drawing on her bedroom floor after he says his goodbyes to you and knocks on her door.

“What are you drawing?” he asks.

She holds up the paper, three figures under the shining sun. When he asks if that’s you, him, and her, she happily nods.

Zach settles on the floor, watching the way she colors in the yellow sun, her legs kicking in the air. He’s seen a change in his child. There’s no doubt about it.

While she was always a happy kid, she’s grown to be much more expressive and affectionate since you stepped into their lives. You bring out the best in her. The best in him, too.

He tries to force down the tears that come up every time he looks at his daughter and thinks about what happened a year ago. She’s too small to have to know the pain of abandonment and betrayal. He pushes away the thought.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Zach says, clearing his throat.

“Do you want another bracelet?” she says.

Zach smirks, looking down at the beaded bracelet on his wrist that she made for him a few days ago. She made you a matching one that you always wear, too.

“Yeah, if you’re not too busy,” he says. “But that’s not it.”

He says it exactly as he rehearsed, telling her how happy you make him and asking if she’s okay with you being his girlfriend. When she grins up at him and asks if that means that you can move in with them, he chuckles, tears pricking his eyes.

Zach always felt like he needed to make up for the love Ella’s mother wasn’t giving her. Now, there’s nothing to make up for, nothing missing. He wishes the circumstances had been different, but he knows he’s lucky that he met you.

He was sure soon after he got to know you that his daughter would grow to love you. Deep down, he was sure that he would grow to love you, too.

────୨ৎ────

It’s past nine p.m. when Zach gets home from training. Now that he’s in the midst of playoffs again, he doesn’t get as much time at home anymore, but he takes it in stride.

When he can’t find you on the main floor, he tiptoes upstairs in case you’ve fallen asleep putting Ella to bed. Sure enough, she’s snuggled up next to you, both of you snoozing.

It’s been a month since he told her about your relationship and somehow, she’s grown to love you even more now that she knows you love her dad. Zach wonders if Ella can see how much happier he is these days. He tried to hide how empty he felt before, but maybe she caught on.

He’d rather not know. He’s rather not think about the past at all, really. Because right now, as he gazes into his daughter’s bedroom to see you hugging each other in your sleep, he knows he’s looking at his future.

(the end)

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[milliesfishes]

hiiiiiiiiiiii millie mouse!!!!! hope you’re doing good bb :) i’m craving some billy fluff :( could you write up a lil something about billy babying reader a lil, maybes she upset about something? i just need some good old millie’s billy :(

-🧸🎀

ofc lovey! also oh millie's billy made me smile <3 <3

౨ৎ꣑ৎbilly babying you౨ৎ꣑ৎ fem reader x billy the kid

Shutting the door behind you and dropping your bag, you fled into the bedroom, flopping down face first atop the sheets you’d painstakingly straightened this morning. You could hear Billy in the other room, likely just coming in from a day outside, but you didn’t make a move. After today, you wanted but a few moments of peace before having to explain yourself.

It was always something when you went into town. Some apparent wrong move or gesture or word that stemmed from you, all criticized no matter what. You tried to be kind. All you ever wanted to be was kind. But it never seemed to be enough. You’d observed the other townspeople and tried to mimic them. After all, you weren’t born and raised here like so many of the other women, so maybe it was that you didn’t understand the dynamics yet.

But still nothing worked. You were shunned, even spoken cruelly to. Today, when you’d been purchasing a spool of yarn, you had complimented the dress of the woman ringing you up, and had been met with a frosty glare, a snipped one word answer.

All the way home you’d held it together, gripping the reins of your horse and trying not to cry over something so stupid. It wasn’t their fault- maybe you needed to be nicer, do some of the same activities they did. Still, tears poked at your eyes, and you didn’t let yourself cry until you were inside, even though there weren’t any neighbors for miles.

There was a wet spot in the bed where your tears had soaked in, and you burnt with shame over it. Covering it with your arms, you buried your face into them, back trembling as you let out everything suppressed from the second you stepped into the store. You hated that you were upset over this when you were the one who’d done something wrong. The only problem was that you couldn’t figure out what it was, and the frustration only made you cry more.

The bedroom door was opened, and you tried to slow down your crying to no avail. There was one set of footsteps, along with the pitter-patter of four paws on the floor. A weight was deposited on the bed, soft fur rubbing against your head as a throaty purr started up. When you felt a second tail brush against your back, you realized Billy must have carried one cat in while the other followed.

When his big, warm palm settled on your back, you sniffled, another bout of tears welling up. He gathered your hair, smoothing it carefully and pushing it to the side so he could rub your back. All the while, the two cats purred and nuzzled at your head, causing you to look up, lips twitching when you saw Willow’s pretty face and sleepy eyes. She must have been the one Billy carried in. Fish only teamed up with him when you were in distress, and even then that courtesy did not extend to picking-up privileges.

Billy continued his stroking as you sat up, leaning into him and wrapping your arms around his neck. The material of his shirt was worn from years of use, but you found comfort in familiarity. His hair was a mess from being under his hat, and one set of your fingers found the soft curls at the nape of his neck. He held you gently, starting to rock back and forth. It was a go-to when you were upset, and for a reason. Your tears began to slow down, softened by his love.

“Thought the cats might help,” he murmured into your hair, and a little laugh escaped you.

“They did,” you said, muffled by his chest. “You all did.”

Pulling back, you looked up into his eyes, seeing them brimming with worry the way you knew they would. He caught a stray tear with his thumb, smoothing over your cheekbone. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” you promised, and he visibly relaxed, just a little. Reaching up to hold his wrist, you could feel it all at the tip of your tongue, about to spill over. He had that effect on you, where you wanted to tell him everything. Billy softened the protective walls you’d built, found a key to your locked doors and asked if he could use it. But you found yourself letting him in anyways every time.

“I want them to like me,” you whispered, cheeks going rosy as you looked down. It was such a silly thing to cry over, but he didn’t act as though he thought so. “The people in town. I don’t know what I did wrong-“

“Nothing.” Billy cut you off, cupping your cheek as Fish rubbed at your side, prompting you to give him a scratch under the chin. “Baby you couldn’ta done anything wrong. Look at you.” He lifted his other hand, giving it a home at the other side of your face. “My perfect girl…couldn’t do bad if you tried.”

A weak smile lifted your lips. “I must have.”

His expression grew somber, and he exhaled softly, searching your eyes. “Honey…ain’t nothin’ you did, alright? If I know you I know you’ve been sweet as can be.” Billy brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, returning his hand to your cheek. “But some folks don’t like that I’m around.”

The pang in your heart stilled you for a moment. Just by the look in his eyes you knew he was telling the truth, but it wasn’t one you wanted to hear. He was trying to tell you it wasn’t your fault, but now you wanted it to be. It would be so much easier if it was something you could fix.

Reminders that not everybody loved him the way you did came often from all directions, and you avoided them at every turn. Refused to believe people could be so cruel, so critical of someone they hadn’t even met, who hadn’t done any wrong by the law for several years now. But it caught up everywhere you went, driving you to move around wherever the wind blew, hoping this would be the town where nobody had heard of him.

He’d promised this place would be special. That this was a place for staying. You’d settled in happily, believing him the way you always did. Billy avoided town as much as he could, so you had been positive that there wasn’t any reason to be cruel towards him. But now you’d been proved wrong. Even sparingly, they would always find a way.

Seeing the realization in your eyes, Billy pulled you in again, holding you tight to his chest. He dropped his lips to the top of your head, nose buried in your hair. “It’s not you, darlin’. Never you. They can’t get to me so they figure you’re the next best thing. It ain’t right, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

Your tears fell silently as a rush of shame washed over you. He was guilty because you hadn’t been able to handle yourself over one person’s unkindness. Slumping against his chest, you let him pull you onto his lap as he settled on the bed, the telltale thump of his boots hitting the floor as he nudged them off. Billy scooted back against the headboard, hauling you up under your arms and setting you back on his thighs, face hidden in his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t be punished for lovin’ someone,” he breathed, fingers bunching up and down over the space between your shoulders. “For seein’ good in every damn person. That’s just who you are and you should be praised for it. Not shunned. I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”

Shaking your head, you clung to his collar, nuzzling against his neck. “It’s not your fault.”

“Shh,” Billy soothed, laying another kiss to your hair. “It’s okay, sweet girl. It’s okay.” His thumb rubbed a relaxing path over your shoulder as you melted into him, calming as you became consumed by his presence.

The problem surrounded your bubble like a storm cloud, but you ignored it, choosing to revel in what you had. The man you loved, comforting you, letting you lean on him when you were upset. And it was bothering him too, you could feel the tension in his body, swept under the rug in favor of keeping you relaxed.

Fish and Willow curled up around you both, their sleepy purring only helping you further calm down. Billy kept you laying against his chest, his voice dropping to a whisper with the last of your tears and sniffling. “I know baby, I know.” He shifted slowly so that you were lying down on top of him, body between his lazily spread legs. “Shh, it’s okay.”

And it was. It all melted away as you snuggled into his chest, everything the world thought of you and him suddenly nothing.

There was only him and you and your cats, safely stowed away where nobody could touch you.

[verypeanutgarden]

Bakugou Katsuki would be the type to be a hopeless romantic, but would never realize your crush on him. Even if you smack him in the face with it. Now we are here in 1A classroom...

•••••••

Bakugou would never admit it, even if it will cause him is life. That the books hidden under his bed, are romance novels. From Jane Austen to Nora Roberts. He may be a hopelessly romantic nerd but he is one that can up anyone. But the moment you came into view the very first day of school, that whole dynamic went away. He became calmer, to the point Midoriya had thought he died that day.

"Hey, bakugou?" The sound of your voice caught his attention. Pulled him right out of his day dream, he turned towards your direction. A simple nod to say keep taking.

"I was thinking maybe we could start the assignment Mr. Aizawa gave? So that we can be done by tomorrow." You continued happily. Oh how he wants to listen to your voice everyday, he thought. But he just ended up turning away and giving a nod. Which to be honest was more than what people get now-a-days.

"Okay! We can work...at your room? So it's more comfortable for you" You suggest, Bakugou being slow nodded and agreed but really. He was just spacing out and staring at you, but of course he will never admit that. So he didn't know what he agreed too.

As the day is about to end, the majority of the class headed towards the dorm to rest up and start the day all over again tomorrow. Of course the brooding Bakugou, went to the training room instead of going with the rest. Completely forgetting he was supposed to meet with you...around 6pm he started to head to the dorm. The dorm still had lights on and everyone was just finishing with dinner, Bakugou had set his back down and grabbed what seemed to be curry but ended up looking like death. So he visibly passed and up the opted for the left over fish from this morning. Finishing the dinner he heads upstairs to shower.

Before he headed to the shower he simply texted Kirishima if he would like to hang out, but not bothering to try to see Kirishima's reply. Simply throwing his phone on the bed and heading to the shower in his room.

The steam leaves the bathroom as Bakugou steps out, as he goes to reach for his phone. A knock on the door with the towel around his waist way lower than it needs to be, he pauses and assumes it's Kirishima. As he reaches for the door saying, "Took you long enough-"

Bakugou stops dead in his sentence, realizing it is not Kirishima he was talking to but you. With only a towel covering himself.

So at that moment Bakugou learned his lesson to pay attention.

"Um...I see you didn't expect me...uh-" You reply awkwardly. Before you could even form a sentence the door simply closed in your face and you were left in the hallway stunned. As you paused for a minute and raised your hand to knock on the door, before you even touched the door it swings open to a fully dressed Bakugou.

"What do you want?" He asked in a hurry. You tilt your head to the side confused.

"I'm here for the assignment I asked you about awhile ago?" You replied with your eyes trailing to his chest because god knows even with a hoodie you can still see all the muscles. Stopping yourself, you fidget with your fingers.

Bakugou ends up clueless as to what you mean, then in clicked. The hero intern assignment that Aizawa assigned, and since you were also under Best Jeanist. You two were assigned to be partners in the assignment.

"Yea." He said as he opens the door wider and gestures you to come in.

Hes room was surprisingly the most neat you have ever seen. It looked like a five star hotel, and coming for a man? Who is not in his 30s is a weird feeling. As you stand in the middle of the room the sound of the door closing too you out of day dreaming. You feel bakugou walking up behind you, and pass you. He then gestures to you to sit at the bed.

"So...where do you want to start?" You started.

He blinked once, then twice. He then replied, "We can start with the problems." Scratching the back of his neck as a form of habit when nervous. But hes not going to tell you that. With the sound of the air conditioning filling the silence, you drop the notebooks you were holding and opened to the page needed for the assignment. You handed him the page and asked which he would like to do.

An hour later, he sat on the floor in front of his bed with his back turned to you while u layed on your stomach facing the back of his head. You would be lying to yourself if you said you were definitely NOT looking at how his shoulders were flexing at every small movement, or how his breathing is steady but every now and then he takes that deep breath and exhale, or how his back is a testimony to his dedication to his workout and body, or how his hair-

"Y/n?" He asked. Cutting you off your train of thought. He had finish his assignment and he had wanted to given to you, as you went and grabbed the paper you pen fell out of the bed and rolled at the bottom of his bed. You moved closer and tried to grab what fell below, only to be stopped by a hand on you wrist.

"Don't." He said firmly. "Why? Im just getting my pen" You replied. He said nothing only to reach down and grab the pencil that rolled and hand it to you. Being as curious as you are you asked him, "What is under here?" You asked and he stayed quiet. It was a surprise he hasn't kicked you out of his room.

Of course you knew you had limits with bakugou, and you knew not to ask again. But you just couldn't help yourself.

You kept asking him for the remainder of the hour you spent in him room to finish the assignment.

"Bakugou...come on, if its dolls I wouldn't tell." You teased him. He practically snap his head at you and just turned his head to his notebook. After which you still kept bothering him until, he snapped and he turned his face towards you. Only a few inches apart, this was unlike him. Because by now he would have kicked you out.

"Shut it y/n, or I will make you shut up." He said almost like a whisper. Hes eyes grew wide, and he turned his head he was about to apologize until you suddenly said,

"Really? Shut me up then, bet you can't..." You replied. You knew not to bite back but, you got petty.

Bakugou's pupils exploded, no one would talk back to him before. Now you, the beautiful you is challenging his patience. He knew he liked you the moment he heard you talk back to mineta. He knew he liked you the moment he saw how you were when you fought. Good enough to beat anyone that comes your way, and he liked that you challenge him. He smirked at you only to shut you up with him holding your wrist and pulling you closer.

"Anything to say big shot?" He replied. You couldn't say a word, "Thought so." He said cockyly but before he could say another word.

The door opens, and poor Kirishima paused and knew he was going to die that night. As Bakugou turns hes head to the door, you could hear the explosion popping off his hands...wait why is there a popping sound?

Before you knew it poor kirishima was running away before the explosion would go off from Bakugou's hand.

All that happened after was a blur because here you are now, a pro hero. In a relationship with the soon to be top one hero Dynamight...well soon to be engaged that is. He just picked up the ring and hes on his way home...

[shuafiles]

lie to girls [l.jn] preview

SUMMARY | it was hard watching jeno struggle with his relationship, but it was even harder when he ran to you for comfort every time. especially when you, his long-time best friend, have been in love with him for the longest time. but when jeno starts lying about where he’s going and who he’s with, you realize the biggest lie might be the one you’re telling yourself—that he’ll ever choose you. or girls will cry, and girls will lie, and girls will lose their goddamn minds for you.

PAIRING | nonidol!jeno x afab!reader

CONTENT | university au, angst, best friends to ?, aespa members included, cheating, swearing, drinking, smut (not everything is included in the teaser yet but just so you know whats in store)

WORDS | 855 (just this teaser)

A/N | sneak peek of what im working on! im planning on making this a looong one but i was too excited so i decided to share without spoiling too much. let me know if you like it! total wc is still unknown and the release date will hopefully be before november ends. also its my birthday today so heres my gift to you :D

“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.

you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.

“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilting back on the headrest, head filled with thoughts.

“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”

unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.

you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was probably what he needed right now.

“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.

“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?

“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.

jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”

you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, so you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.

“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.

you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude just seems so off-putting to you. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.

“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.

“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”

jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah… you’re right.”

you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”

jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”

and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.

[meirimerens]

You probably have already made a post about this (in which case I apologize for bothering you) however I really love how you render and color! Do you have any tips?

Hiiii so I probably indeed already answered something like that but it’s probably time for an #update + realized i can put pictures and it would probably help actually. Slay okay.

THE BASICS: have brushes you like. I have my faves, they’re in my #brushes tag (click below), you might also see them on the screen of my paintings in wip lol. Typically i thicken them up for rendering AND, now this is integral to my liking of rendering these days + the look: COLOR JITTERING. In procreate that’s tap brush -> color dynamics and i adjust the stamp & stroke jitter in the « hue » category. I have my fave brushes quadruplicated as thicker No Hue, 3% color jitter, 5%, 13% depending on the desired look. What this does is give intrinsic interest, variation and depth to your colors, and that way you can have more fun when colorpicking. This will come back again later.

STEP 1: a lineart you like. Doesn’t have to be clean tbh some of my fave linearts from current works were quite messy. ALWAYS colored.

STEP 2: on a layer underneath the lineart, put down flat colors. See what % of color jittering brings you the most #joy. I will do flat colors or i will sometimes already define some areas of light and shadows.

^ you can see the subtle color jitter in the « white » of the shirt and the green of that first image. Second is to show the already defined areas; if i know i want a different hue on here. something else for some pizzazz: tint a color with an adjacent one. not really visible in these screenshots but in matador, at some point, i added an orange tint to burakh's sleeve, the one closest to the red cape.

STEP 3: the shadows. On the same layer as above (you can duplicate it before this so you can always come back to it later if you need to redo), put down your shadows; the trick: COLORPICK FROM A PIXEL WHERE THE COLOR OF YOUR LINEART AND THE COLOR OF YOUR FLATS INTERSECT. You might have to recolor your lineart (use the « alpha lock » feature of your layer or something of the sorts) until you’re satisfied; i typically redden it in the face and hands.

STEP 4: put down the highlight. I typically do highlights the complimentary color as the shadow: if shadow bluer, the highlight is redder (-> pinker), etc.

STEP 5: now this is the scary part. Before proceeding if you’re #scared, group your lineart and colors, duplicate the group and merge one of them so you can always come back to them unmerged. MERGE YOUR LAYERS. You heard me. Merge lineart and color. From then on…

STEP 6: render. Render, render… PATIENCE… est mère de sûreté bien sûr. Here’s my secret: I NEVER BLEND. I ALWAYS COLORPICK. COLORPICK where two colors meet and you’ll have the perfect transition color.

tip: always have an all-black layer set to color mode above all layers that you can toggle on and off to check your values.

This is more of a fun thing i like to do even if i haven’t done it often: use some hints of a geometric brush to add interest when using an « organic » brush (or vice-versa, I’d guess, but i rarely render with geometric brushes). Exemples again:

And well Das Preddy Much It… Your Turn Now….. and because i realize a short demonstration is better than a long speech, have a speepvideo of the two pieces I’ve used as exemples one after the other (matador first to 44 seconds in, moschophoros second). the very beginnings are cut because we’re focusing on the above steps.

Your turn……. To play.

[theereina]

Bad News Pt. 3

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC "Bella"

Wordcount: +1.7K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, no smut, heavily dialogue-centered, mental health mentioned (anxiety), *emotional distress*, angst, heartbreak, health conditions mentioned (c*ncer, PCOS, endometriosis), infertility, verbal and physical ab*se mentioned

A/N: I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

Bad News Pt. 1=> 😢

Bad News Pt. 2=> 😢

Masterlist: 🔥🔥🔥

Over A Month After Mike's Funeral

“He said he'd leave the door unlocked, so I can just go in and get the rest of my stuff,” I said getting out of the car. “My legs hurt so damn bad,” Shante said bending over. “Old ass!” I laughed as I walked to the door.

As I lifted my hand to turn the doorknob, all of the memories from the night before I left came flooding back. “You good?” Shante asked as she walked up behind me. “Yeah, flashbacks whoopin’ my ass. I can't believe that… Fuck!” I said sobbing. Shante’s arms wrapped around me. “Oh, Bella. You'll be okay, mama. You know me and Mama gotchu,” she said swaying from side to side.

This was the first time since the day Terry called that I had realized how much life had changed. The surgery was “successful”. Testing showed no more immediate signs of cancer. The possibility of me getting pregnant was slim to none and would take a miracle, but I was trying to be as optimistic as possible about the situation.

“I'm fine. I promise,” I said patting her hands. She slowly released me from her embrace. “You’re strong, ya’ know. You always have been,” she said playfully bumping my shoulder. “Thank you for that. Honestly, I wish I didn't have to be. What's the reward in it?” I said reaching for the doorknob again.

Upon entering the house, I noticed that everything seemed to be untouched. It was as if Terry had barely stayed here since then. “Has he even been here?” Shante asked spinning around and taking in the scenery. She seemed to be just as confused as me. “I don't know. I didn't really ask. We only text about me coming to get my stuff,” I said walking further into the house.

The longer I stood there; the more I felt an overwhelming sense of dread, worry, and something I couldn't explain. It seemed off. It was almost as if this wasn't anyone's home anymore.

“Let's just go upstairs,” I said shuddering. As I turned to go up the stairs, I heard the sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway. “I thought his bitch ass wasn't coming while you were here,” Shante said barreling towards the door. She grabbed the doorknob and swung it open. “That's what he…,” I started to say.

To my surprise, it wasn't Terry pulling in at all. I saw his mother climbing out of her small sedan. “Shit! It's his mama. What the hell?” I said palming my face. I hadn't prepared myself to face any of them— not Terry or his parents.

I could see her smile before she even reached the door. “Hi, honey. May I come in?” she asked looking at me. Her hands gripped her purse strap so tight that her knuckles turned white. “Yes… yes, ma'am. How are you?” I asked turning to meet her in the living room. “Good, how about you? I haven't spoken to ya’ since ya’ left,” she said walking up to me. She looked at Shante and mouthed a silent hello.

I didn't know what to say to her. Did I tell her the truth? Did I lie about what happened? Was I supposed to protect Terry? Should I even fucking care?

“I've been fine,” I said trying to stifle my emotions. I knew that my face and body language always gave me away. I wore my emotions outwardly like a second skin or a mask. “Don't lie to me, baby?” she said grabbing my hands. I looked down at the floor. “Bella,… maybe you should just… y’know,” Shante mumbled while shrugging her shoulders. “I've asked that boy a million times. He's as stubborn as a mule. He didn't hurt you did he?” she asked stepping closer. “No, but… Yeah, but not physically. Then again, every word he said felt like a punch to the gut. He…,” I said as the tears began to fall.

Before I knew it, I had told his mother everything— what happened that night, the next day, and what happened to me afterward. I even told her about the surgery and diagnoses.

“I'll be the first to admit that we missed the mark with Terry when it comes to emotional intelligence. His father was so set on raising a man that he just couldn't let the boy feel things. Y’know… he couldn't cry, be upset, or… Or, else. Yes, Terry is a grown-ass man, but… I don't know,” Terry's mother grew silent. It was like she had become lost in her thoughts.

“All I wanted was an apology. If he would've just… just heard me out and listened. But, I guess I wasn't worth it. I get it. Mike was in trouble, but I felt like I was fighting for my life… by my… by my damn self. He wasn’t talkin’ to me. He wasn't communicating with me at all. He was just telling me what he was gonna do, and that was it. I… I… I tried my hardest to let it go, but he had already said too much. There was no turning back after what he said. Whether he was angry, overwhelmed, or not; he hurt me!” I said leaning on my hands on the kitchen counter.

“I know. I'm sorry, honey. That's why I'm gone tell you this, and leave ya’ ‘lone. Okay? Listen to me, and listen to me good,” she said holding my face in her hands. “That's my son sure enough, but that's his father's creation. Don't make the same mistake I did. Run. Don't wait on him. He won't change. They'll tell you they will a million times and never will. They just keep feedin’ ya’ lies to tire ya’ out ‘til ya’ settle. And once you do that… It only gets worse. So, go up those stairs and get your stuff. When ya’ do, leave and don't eva look back. Ya’ hear me?” she said pulling me into a bear hug.

“And I know you said he isn't hitting you now, but if he's anything like his daddy, it's only a matter of time. Baby, don't even think ‘bout it… Lord… Just don't go back. Promise me that,” she said rocking me back and forth.

4 hours later

“That's it. We're done! Let's go. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I ain't in the mood. Girl, this was a helluva day,” Shante said walking out the door. I made sure that I had all of my stuff before leaving. I looked down at the set of keys in my hand. His mother was right; this was it. I wasn't turning back. I fumbled with the key ring and removed Terry's house key. I placed it on the kitchen counter. There was no reason to have it because I was NEVER using it again. I turned and began walking out the door locking it from the inside. Closing that door felt like ending an entire chapter of my life.

I walked to the passenger side of the car. Opening the door, I got in and slumped into the seat. “Alright. The hotel is only a thirty-minute drive. Let's go!” Shante said starting the car. Even reversing out of the driveway felt odd. It was as if every move from then on was solidifying just how done I was. Shante drove out of the neighborhood and turned onto the main street. The two-lane boulevard went straight through the center of the small town. I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes. I was exhausted as hell.

After a few minutes, I felt the car come to a stop. I opened my eyes to see where we were— the town center. It was the only stoplight in the city limits. “The fact that there is only one stoplight is insane,” Shante laughed. “Aww, don't be mean. That's not nice,” I said giggling into my hand.

As we were chatting, the red light changed to green. Shante eased into the intersection. I looked out the window, watching the scenery. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. This was supposed to be the start of my perfect life— small town, family home, a husband, some kids, all of it. It was like I lost it all in a night. My thoughts were drifting to a poisonous place, and I knew if I stayed there too long I wouldn't be able to climb out of that hole as easily. I let my eyes scan the small crowds outside the window. This was a normal Thursday night for everyone else but me.

We were nearing the edge of town and slowly approaching the city limits. All we had to do was get to the highway. This was the first time this drive felt so daunting. It was as if I was being forced to reconcile with every decision I made before today— the good and the bad.

Out the window, I could see the small bar that Terry frequented. It wasn't busy but small groups were still lingering out front. As we grew closer, I noticed Terry's truck parallel-parked out front. Of course, he was there. Where else would he be? This was where he went to run. I leaned my head against the glass. The side of my face flustered from the temperature of the cool glass. As we started to pass the back of Terry's truck, I could see his figure in front of the truck. He was leaning with his back against the hood. I sank back into the seat. I honestly didn't want to see him. I waited until we were completely past the bar before sitting up again. I didn't look back. I kept my eyes glued on the passenger side floorboards. What was the point? I wiped a single tear that was making its way down my face. I breathed out a deep sigh of relief.

What would life have to offer now? Genuine happiness. Healthy and reciprocated love. Self-discovery. Less bad news. Yeah, that's what I pray for— for God to finally give me enough space to breathe and grow.

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[laurentpark]

don’t tell my boyfriend! — [12] an unexpected bond

synopsis. where jimin stalks her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend after a certain incident happened and couldn’t help but grow hatred over her. coincidentally, her and jimin happen to be global ambassadors of the same famous luxury brand and have to work together for a commercial. at first, jimin despised the girl with all her flesh and bones but soon understands why her boyfriend fell for the young actress in the first place… because she was starting to fall for the young actress as well.

the echo of “cut! that’s a wrap!” reverberated across the set as the crew scatters, packing up the equipment and winding down from a long day. jimin sighs, her shoulders easing from the tension of multiple takes, and shot a quick smile over at y/n.

it was only their second time meeting, but even the first had been…unexpected. jimin never thought she’d find herself working with her boyfriend’s ex. the initial awkwardness had been hard to ignore, but y/n was surprisingly laid-back, even cracking a few jokes between takes to keep the atmosphere light. and now, after hours of rehearsing lines and smiling for the cameras, jimin felt like she’d glimpsed a side of y/n she hadn’t expected.

“hey, jimin.” y/n’s voice was warm, a gentle smile tugging at her lips as she walked over, stopping just a step away from the idol. “ready to go?” she asked, referring to their lunch plans.

jimin glanced up, her heart skipping slightly at the sight of y/n so close. she could still feel a small knot of nerves around her, which only seemed to tighten whenever she met y/n’s gaze.

“h-hey, y/n…” jimin stammered, her cheeks warming as she struggled to find the right words. she cleared her throat, trying to sound casual. “yeah, i’m ready!”

y/n chuckled, clearly noticing jimin’s shyness. she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her smile widening. “don’t be so nervous, jimin. we’re just grabbing lunch.” her tone was playful, almost teasing, and jimin felt herself relax, if only a little.

jimin laughed, more at herself than anything. “i know, i know. it’s just… i don’t do this very often.”

y/n tilted her head, a spark of curiosity in her eyes. “what, lunch?” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

jimin shook her head, rolling her eyes with a soft smile. “no, i mean… hanging out with someone i don’t know very well. and not just someone—you.” the admission slipped out before she could stop it, and jimin instantly felt her cheeks flush. she glanced away, half-regretting her honesty.

but y/n only smiled brighter. “well, then let’s fix that, yeah?” she gestured towards the door. “my chauffeur’s right outside. let’s go.”

jimin took a deep breath, letting y/n’s calm confidence steady her. “alright, let’s do it.” she gave y/n a small nod, and together, they walked out of the building.

as they stepped outside, jimin noticed how y/n made everything seem so effortless, and she wondered if, by the end of the day, she might find herself as comfortable in y/n’s presence as y/n already seemed to be in hers.

they slip into the back seat of y/n’s car, the hum of the engine soothing as it pulls away from the curb. the two stars sat beside each other as jimin glances at y/n, curious but also hesitant to ask where they were going.

“… so..” she starts off— her tone light, making y/n look at her, “where are we going?”

the actress flashes her a grin, “you’ll see.” she responds, sending a wink at the idol’s reaction. “just know that we don’t have to worry about fans or paparazzis bothering us.

hearing her statement, jimin lets out a sigh of relief slip past her lips before her eyes widened in realization as she looks down on her clothes, “you should have told me..” she points out with a small (unintentional) pout forming on her lips. “i should dressed myself up.”

y/n laughs at her reaction, shaking her head as she turns her head to the side to view the streets of seoul, “you’re fine, trust me. you look good in anything you wear. no wonder why you’re an ambassador.”

jimin felt her cheeks flush again. something about y/n kind and comforting words made her feel a strange… warmth, a kind of comfort she didn’t expect.

the car pulls up to a sleek, understated building with dark tinted windows and a subtle, almost hidden entrance. jimin looks out the window, curiosity sparking in her eyes as she takes in the exterior.

“where are we?” she questions, glancing over at y/n.

the actress only smiles, “you’ll see. thought i’d surprise you.”

as they step inside, jimin feels a quiet awe wash over her. the space was bathed in warm, low lighting, and the minimalist decor was elegant without being overdone. delicate plants lined the walls, and soft instrumental music played in the background, creating a calm, private atmosphere. it was the kind of place that seemed designed for whispered conversations and lingering glances across the table.

“wow,” jimin breaths, her gaze sweeping over the details. “this place is… stunning.”

y/n’s smile softens. “thought you’d like it,” she says, watching jimin’s reaction with a hint of pride. they were led to a cozy booth tucked away in a quiet corner, giving them a perfect little pocket of privacy.

“figured it would be nice to actually relax a bit,” y/n added as they sat down. “and maybe get to know each other beyond what’s in the spotlight.”

they settle in, ordering a few dishes to share. as the first course arrives, y/n leans forward, resting her chin in her hand as she looks at jimin thoughtfully.

“so,” y/n begins, “tell me something about yourself. something you don’t get to talk about much.”

jimin blinks, a little taken aback. “wow, no pressure,” she jokes, smiling shyly. but as she looks at y/n, she can see genuine curiosity in her eyes. “okay… well, i guess people always see me as confident and put-together because of my job, but honestly? i still get nervous all the time. especially around new people.”

y/n’s gaze softens, and she nods. “i get that. the spotlight can be… intense. but i think it’s kinda nice seeing this side of you. it’s more real, you know?”

jimin smiles, feeling a bit more at ease. “thanks… it feels good to be myself for a change.” she pauses, then glances up at y/n. “what about you? any hidden secrets i should know about?”

y/n laughs, leaning back thoughtfully. “oh, i have plenty. but if i had to pick one… i guess people always think i’m super outgoing, but honestly, i’m kind of an introvert. i love quiet moments like this.”

the idol’s eyes sparkle with interest. “really? i wouldn’t have guessed that.”

the way jimin saw it, y/n has always been confident and sure of themself on the screen and behind the screen. it’s what she had always admired (though she’d never admit to anyone, especially her members) about her.

“yeah,” y/n says, her expression softening. “that’s why i like places like this. they give me space to breathe.”

they continue sharing small pieces of themselves, letting the conversation flow with the arrival of each new dish. as they laugh and share stories, the initial awkwardness fades completely. in these quiet moments, jimin realizes that maybe—just maybe—she’s found someone who can see her for who she really is, beyond the spotlight.

when they finally leave the restaurant, the night is cool and calm, the streets bathed in soft city lights. jimin glances over at y/n, feeling a warmth she hadn’t expected.

“thank you,” she says softly, “for today.”

y/n smiles, nudging her shoulder gently. “anytime. we should do this again.”

“definitely,” jimin replies, her heart lighter than it’s been in a while.

her eyes bulges out, realizing…

she’s getting along with her boyfriend’s ex.

pre-chap. next. masterlist

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